A man called home to his wife and said, Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 18 Oct 2004

A man called home to his wife and said,
"Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box? We're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up."
"Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box."

A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. [...]
banc precedent An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl [...]
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Late one night, a man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me? I think I'm a moth." Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist." Man: "Yes, I know." Dentist: "So why did you come in here?" Man: "Well, the light was on." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 9 Mai 2007


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria.TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008


A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs: - Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him. - Now, now,. ..her mother comforted, I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding. - No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price! - Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her mom. Those turkey rolls are only a ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 12 Aprilie 2005


HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB? Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyses the situation. If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department. If they are recounting them. Put them in auditing. If they ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006


A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006


Friends of women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. So the husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that. Friends of men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 28 Septembrie 2004


An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said: - If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said: - If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005


You Know You Have a Bad Computer When... 10. The lower corner of screen has the words "Etch A Sketch" on it. 9. When you insert a disk, it spits out a pack of cigarettes. 8. You have to pedal it. 7. The manual contains one sentence: "Good luck!" 6. The only chip inside came from a bag of Doritos. 5. When you turn it on, the dogs in the neighborhood start howling. 4. You catch a virus from it. 3. ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007


An English professor wrote the words : "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing." All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing." Punctuation is powerful ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004


The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said: - Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. - Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, you're just lazy. - Okay, said the man. Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011


A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and requested: "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?" The marriage officer said: "Your requirements please." "Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 August 2007


Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. "This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the king until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 17 Octombrie 2006


Woman's revenge... - Cash, check or charge? I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. - So, do you always carry your TV remote? I asked. - No, she replied, but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 7 Mai 2010


My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said: - I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it! I replied: - Aren't you talking on it!? There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by: - You are NOT going to tell anybody ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Februarie 2008


A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but he eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew left was the one on the front row. So as not to make a fool of ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 21 Februarie 2007