A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, I'm sorry to bother you, but I...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 18 Oct 2004
A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual?"
banc precedent A man called home to his wife and said, Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to [...]
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During a taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I know it's difficult to tell the difference between a C ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 25 Martie 2008
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006
Woman's revenge... - Cash, check or charge? I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. - So, do you always carry your TV remote? I asked. - No, she replied, but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 7 Mai 2010
An English professor wrote the words : "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing." All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing." Punctuation is powerful ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
Late one night, a man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me? I think I'm a moth." Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist." Man: "Yes, I know." Dentist: "So why did you come in here?" Man: "Well, the light was on." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 9 Mai 2007
Hung Chow calls work and says: - Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I no come work. The boss says: - You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to sing for me. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that. Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: - Boss, I do what you say and ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Iunie 2005
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said: - Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. - Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, you're just lazy. - Okay, said the man. Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny. - - - - - - - - - - - NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard) SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 21 Noiembrie 2006
News from Heaven: Due to the current
financial crisis facing the world at the
moment, the light at the end of the
tunnel will be switched off to save on
electricity costs, until further notice.
Sincerely yours,
God ... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Noiembrie 2008
A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and requested: "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?" The marriage officer said: "Your requirements please." "Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 August 2007
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 Octombrie 2006
After school one day, a young first-grade boy was sitting at the kitchen table, eating his afternoon snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." The boy's mother replied, "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are an only child?" She just said, "Thank ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Martie 2008
Students at a school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish. One 11-year-old wrote, "When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night, it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 4 Mai 2007
Man: God? God: Yes!? Man: Can I ask you something? God: Yes. Man: What is for you a million of years? God: A second. Man: And a million of dollars? God: A penny. Man: God, Can you give me a penny? God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005