WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied,...

THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE: Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: "Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer whenever he wanted. THE END ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Ianuarie 2006

A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a deer crossing. As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one crew member looked back and spotted a deer running across the highway. She turned to a co-worker and said, "I wonder how long he's been waiting to ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Iunie 2007

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Mai 2010

"Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth: sense of humor." Anonymous ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005

A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. - You look tired, my son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand. - No thanks, said the young man. My father wouldn't approve. - Don't be silly, the minister said. Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water. Again the ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 3 Mai 2007

One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to pack his own lunch for school. His mom agreed. But they couldn't agree on what he should pack, so they both made lists. This was the mom's list: One sandwich One apple Pretzels A carton of milk This was Jake's list: Candy Candy Candy Jake agreed to compromise. Sure enough, the next morning, Jake was ready for school and he packed his lunch. His mom came ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 12 Ianuarie 2007

I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old. I had him strapped into a backpack and was rushing to catch the bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell down an entire flight of stairs (13 to be exact). I was bruised and bleeding and had torn my jeans ... but my main concern was, naturally, for my child. My fears were alleviated, though, when from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle followed ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret looked him over.. "Nope." Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 27 Ianuarie 2009

There are 2 people always next to you: The Manager, smiling pleasantly to hide evil intentions! The Team Leader, busy figuring out what work to dump on you next... And, there's YOU, who struggles with it all! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 22 Iunie 2008

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004

A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the hamster and asked him: Dude, How come people consider me a noisance, and you a pet? How come people pay money to have you, while they are trying to kill me? How come you are considered a cute little animal, while I am considered creepy and disgusting? How come you live in ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Septembrie 2004

Woman's revenge... - Cash, check or charge? I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. - So, do you always carry your TV remote? I asked. - No, she replied, but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 7 Mai 2010

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it'sdirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Martie 2007

Hung Chow calls work and says: - Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I no come work. The boss says: - You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to sing for me. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that. Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: - Boss, I do what you say and ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008