WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an...
propus: 30 Mai 2010
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down
a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion
had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box [...]
banc precedent WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything [...]
banc următor
During a taxi, the crew of a US Air
departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made
a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with
a United 727. The irate ground
controller (a female) lashed out at the
US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771,
where are you going? I told you to turn
right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned
right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I
know it's difficult to tell the
difference between a C
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 25 Martie 2008
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg
aplicatiile si programele.
COUNT DOWN......
20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get
it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your
data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in
weeks!"
12. "You must have
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 28 Noiembrie 2006
A man is waiting in line for a hit
movie. Behind him are two women. The
usher comes along and says that he has
two seats together. Seeing the problem,
the usher says to the man, "Let them go
first. You wouldn't want to separate a
woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that once,
and I've been sorry ever since."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 1 Aprilie 2008
One night while I was cat-sitting my
daughter's indoor feline, it escaped
outside. When it failed to return the
following morning, I found the beast
clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in
a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down,
I called the fire department.
"We don't do that anymore," the woman
dispatcher said. When I persisted, she
was polite but firm. "The cat will come
down when it gets
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 30 Ianuarie 2007
I've sure gotten old. I've had two
bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, and
take 40 different medications that make
me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
hands and feet anymore. Can't remember
if I'm 85 or 92. Have
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Decembrie 2006
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. He thinks he is
smarter than the Cop so he decides to
have some fun at the Cop's expense.
Cop says:
- License and registration, please.
Lawyer says:
- What for?
Cop says:
- You didn't come to a complete stop at
the stop sign.
Lawyer says:
- I slowed down, and no one was coming.
Cop says:
- Exactly! License and registration,
please.
Lawyer
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 22 Noiembrie 2005
Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the
Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to
ask if I can take this train to New
Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid
it's too heavy.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 27 Februarie 2007
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled
venison steaks was causing such a
problem for the Catholic faithful that
they finally talked to their priest.
The priest came to visit Bubba and
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 8 Martie 2007
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over
his dining room, so he called a
repairman to take a look at it. "When
did you first notice the leak?" the
repairman inquired.
Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it
took me two hours to finish my soup!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Octombrie 2006
Gravitation is not responsible for
people falling in love.
I never think of the future. It comes
soon enough.
The only thing that interferes with my
learning is my education.
Education is what remains after one has
forgotten everything he learned in
school.
Two things are infinite: the universe
and human stupidity; and I'm not
sure about the universe.
Wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 12 Aprilie 2005
I recall a time when my son was about 18
months old. I had him strapped into a
backpack and was rushing to catch the
bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell
down an entire flight of stairs (13 to
be exact). I was bruised and bleeding
and had torn my jeans ... but my main
concern was, naturally, for my child.
My fears were alleviated, though, when
from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle
followed
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
Q: What's the difference between biology
and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or
mom, then it is biology. When the baby
looks like the neighbour, then it is
sociology.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
Manning the computer help desk for the
local school district was my first job.
And though I was just an intern, I took
the job very seriously. But not every
caller took me seriously.
- Can I talk to a real person? a caller
asked.
- I am real, I said.
- Oh, I'm sorry, the caller said. That
was rude of me. What I meant to say was,
could I talk to someone who actually
knows something?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Martie 2008