CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 30 Mai 2010

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles..
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she...

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by [...]
banc precedent WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their [...]
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My wife's family and I were at a Harding University football game. Every time someone carried the ball or made a tackle, the announcer would broadcast who had made the play. Near the beginning of the third quarter after the announcer called a play, my niece, Madison, looked up at my wife and innocently asked, "Is that God talking?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 Noiembrie 2006


My grandmother is a computer geek. She also has trouble remembering quickly sometimes. One day she couldn't think of what she wanted to tell us. Mom explained, "Your grandma is trying to retrieve the information, but it is taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't defragmented her hard drive lately." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 8 Octombrie 2007


One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to pack his own lunch for school. His mom agreed. But they couldn't agree on what he should pack, so they both made lists. This was the mom's list: One sandwich One apple Pretzels A carton of milk This was Jake's list: Candy Candy Candy Jake agreed to compromise. Sure enough, the next morning, Jake was ready for school and he packed his lunch. His mom came ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 12 Ianuarie 2007


My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said: - I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it! I replied: - Aren't you talking on it!? There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by: - You are NOT going to tell anybody ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Februarie 2008


I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004


Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening storm ...Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening storm clouds that were gathering. "Preacher," the organizer said, "I trust you'll see to it that the weather won't turn bad on us." Our pastor shook his head. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm sales, not management!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 29 Octombrie 2008


Once upon a time there were two brothers. One brother was very mischievous, always getting into trouble. The other brother, however, was very good. He was always kind to animals, helped elderly neighbors, and led an exemplary life. As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch but were never close. The evil brother became a heavy drinker and a womanizer. The other brother was a devoted ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 6 Aprilie 2006


European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 5 Aprilie 2006


A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. So she immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned to a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed even more amused. When, on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Iulie 2007


Manning the computer help desk for the local school district was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the job very seriously. But not every caller took me seriously. - Can I talk to a real person? a caller asked. - I am real, I said. - Oh, I'm sorry, the caller said. That was rude of me. What I meant to say was, could I talk to someone who actually knows something? ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Martie 2008


Dr. Marc Faber, investment guru, concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the following comments: "The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 3 Aprilie 2009


An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said: - If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said: - If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005


I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." So I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 30 Mai 2005


Hung Chow calls work and says: - Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I no come work. The boss says: - You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to sing for me. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that. Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: - Boss, I do what you say and ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005


If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same time, who would reach the ground first? The woman, the man would get lost. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sâmbătă, 4 Iunie 2011