Friends of women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 28 Sep 2004

Friends of women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. So the husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.

Friends of men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 are claiming that he is still with them.

A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the hamster and asked him: Dude, How come people consider me a [...]
banc precedent
I'm sorry that you haven't gotten much email from me lately. It's because I'm tired. For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. [...]
banc următor

Five Jews changed the way you see the world... - Moses: The Law is everything. - Jesus: Love is everything. - Marx: Money is everything. - Freud: Sex is everything. - Einstein: Everything is relative. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Februarie 2005


A Chinese couple got married. When a baby girl was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown. Finally, the father named the baby SUM TING RONG." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006


On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 10 Iulie 2007


When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire
from public life, the British ambassador
and his wife threw a gala dinner party
in his honor. At the dinner table, the
Ambassador’s wife was talking ...When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador’s wife was talking with Madame deGaulle: - Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Martie 2009


Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 27 Februarie 2007


The truth about working in the IT industry: 1. We work weird (night) shifts... 2. They pay you to make the client happy... 3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny... 4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client's dreams... 5. Your friends fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in the same profession as you... 6. When you have to meet the client ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 Noiembrie 2006


During a taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I know it's difficult to tell the difference between a C ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 25 Martie 2008


A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs: - Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him. - Now, now,. ..her mother comforted, I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding. - No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price! - Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her mom. Those turkey rolls are only a ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 12 Aprilie 2005


At a U2 concert in Ireland, Bono (the lead singer) asks the audience for some quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone... "I want you to think about something. Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice from the front of the audience yells out... "Then ****** stop clapping, ya ********!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 19 Iunie 2007


Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you. The next day I stopped smoking. Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you. The next day I stopped eating red meat. Eight days ago, I read that drinking can kill you. The next day I stopped drinking. Yesterday, I read that even the air can kill you. This morning I stopped reading. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 25 Aprilie 2005


You Know You Have a Bad Computer When... 10. The lower corner of screen has the words "Etch A Sketch" on it. 9. When you insert a disk, it spits out a pack of cigarettes. 8. You have to pedal it. 7. The manual contains one sentence: "Good luck!" 6. The only chip inside came from a bag of Doritos. 5. When you turn it on, the dogs in the neighborhood start howling. 4. You catch a virus from it. 3. ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find
North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who
discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008


Success is just like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you tried! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 24 Iulie 2009


A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Iunie 2005


If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006