Friends of women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed...
propus: 28 Sep 2004
Five Jews changed the way you see the
world...
- Moses: The Law is everything.
- Jesus: Love is everything.
- Marx: Money is everything.
- Freud: Sex is everything.
- Einstein: Everything is relative.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Februarie 2005
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference
does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 10 Iulie 2007
When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire
from public life, the British ambassador
and his wife threw a gala dinner party
in his honor. At the dinner table, the
Ambassador’s wife was talking with
Madame deGaulle:
- Your husband has been such a prominent
public figure, such a presence on the
French and international scene for so
many years! How quiet retirement will
seem in comparison. What
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Martie 2009
Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the
Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to
ask if I can take this train to New
Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid
it's too heavy.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 27 Februarie 2007
The truth about working in the IT
industry:
1. We work weird (night) shifts...
2. They pay you to make the client
happy...
3. The client pays a lot of money, but
your employer keeps almost every
penny...
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the
client's dreams...
5. Your friends fall apart and you end
up hanging out with people in the same
profession as you...
6. When you have to meet the client
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 Noiembrie 2006
During a taxi, the crew of a US Air
departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made
a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with
a United 727. The irate ground
controller (a female) lashed out at the
US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771,
where are you going? I told you to turn
right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned
right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I
know it's difficult to tell the
difference between a C
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 25 Martie 2008
A new young bride calls her mother in
tears.
She sobs:
- Robert doesn't appreciate what I
do for him.
- Now, now,. ..her mother comforted, I
am sure it was all just a
misunderstanding.
- No, mother, you don't understand.
I bought a frozen turkey roll and he
yelled and screamed at me about the
price!
- Well, the nerve of that lousy
cheapskate! says her mom. Those turkey
rolls are only a
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 12 Aprilie 2005
At a U2 concert in Ireland, Bono (the
lead singer) asks the audience for some
quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his
hands. Holding the audience in total
silence, he says into the microphone...
"I want you to think about something.
Every time I clap my hands, a child in
Africa dies."
A voice from the front of the audience
yells out...
"Then ****** stop clapping, ya
********!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 19 Iunie 2007
Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking
can kill you.
The next day I stopped smoking.
Twelve days ago, I read that too much
red meat can kill you.
The next day I stopped eating red meat.
Eight days ago, I read that drinking can
kill you. The next day I stopped
drinking.
Yesterday, I read that even the air can
kill you.
This morning I stopped reading.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 25 Aprilie 2005
You Know You Have a Bad Computer When...
10. The lower corner of screen has the
words "Etch A Sketch" on it.
9. When you insert a disk, it spits out
a pack of cigarettes.
8. You have to pedal it.
7. The manual contains one sentence:
"Good luck!"
6. The only chip inside came from a bag
of Doritos.
5. When you turn it on, the dogs in the
neighborhood start howling.
4. You catch a virus from it.
3.
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently
received a "Dear John" letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as
follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our
relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I must admit that I have
cheated on you twice, since you've
been gone, and it's not fair to
either of us. I'm sorry.
Please return the picture of me that I
sent to
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Iunie 2005