A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a...

On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, "William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up!" From under the covers came mumbles, "I don't want to go!" "What do you mean?" she said. "That's silly! Now get up and get dressed and go to church!" "No!" he shot back. "I'll give you two reasons. I don't like them and they don't like ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sâmbătă, 14 Iulie 2007

My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said: - I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it! I replied: - Aren't you talking on it!? There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by: - You are NOT going to tell anybody ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Februarie 2008

I am not sure exactly how this works, but this is amazingly accurate. The picture below has two identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and later at Fletcher Medical Center in Burlington. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 25 Martie 2008

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology? A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007

A boy who was a witness to a crime was called to testify in court. He was approached by the defense attorney who asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say in court?" "Yes, sir," answered the boy. "I thought so," said the attorney. "Who was it?" "My father, sir." "And what did he tell you?" the attorney asked accusingly. "He said that the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up, but if I told the ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Noiembrie 2006

Problem: Expand expression (a+b)n See for yourself what solution our student has found. ... Also our teacher's comment, written with red. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 August 2006

FEMALE PRAYER Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages me back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 23 August 2005

Hung Chow calls work and says: - Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I no come work. The boss says: - You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to sing for me. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that. Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: - Boss, I do what you say and ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005

After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 August 2007

A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual?" "Yes," she replied, "I found ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?" But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion." Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004

I'm sorry that you haven't gotten much email from me lately. It's because I'm tired. For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked. The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004

If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same time, who would reach the ground first? The woman, the man would get lost. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sâmbătă, 4 Iunie 2011

My sister, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." Perfect, my sister thought, and took the dog. Then one day, two men in a parking lot approached her, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Iunie 2007

Subject on a math test... Solve the problem: find x on the triangle. Answer: see for yourself!! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 3 Octombrie 2005