A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under...

I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old. I had him strapped into a backpack and was rushing to catch the bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell down an entire flight of stairs (13 to be exact). I was bruised and bleeding and had torn my jeans ... but my main concern was, naturally, for my child. My fears were alleviated, though, when from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle followed ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: - Have you any grounds? - Yes, an acre and half and nice ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 16 Ianuarie 2007

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? Answer: It's Christmas, Eve! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Noiembrie 2011

A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Iunie 2005

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. Anti-constitutionalistically 3. Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Tran substantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. No thanks, I'm married. 2. Nope, no more booze for me! 3. Sorry, but you're not really ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Mai 2008

My sister, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." Perfect, my sister thought, and took the dog. Then one day, two men in a parking lot approached her, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Iunie 2007

After school one day, a young first-grade boy was sitting at the kitchen table, eating his afternoon snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." The boy's mother replied, "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are an only child?" She just said, "Thank ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Martie 2008

A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession, even to the grocery store, which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 25 Septembrie 2008

Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the Swiss. Hell is where police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and it is all organized by the Italians. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 29 Noiembrie 2005

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Mai 2010

A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Octombrie 2006

Jack Benny is walking down the street, when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and says: Your money or your life! An extremely long silence follows. Your money or your life!, the thug repeats. Finally Benny says: I am thinking! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006

Late one night, a man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me? I think I'm a moth." Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist." Man: "Yes, I know." Dentist: "So why did you come in here?" Man: "Well, the light was on." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 9 Mai 2007

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 30 Mai 2010

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 3 Iunie 2008