The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 31 Oct 2006

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.

I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."

The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"

A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that most Germans would speak English. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including [...]
banc precedent A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. That customer's going to come back here pretty mad, [...]
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Sweetheart: I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart. Your husband, Allen ... His wife replied back after some days to her husband: Dearest sweetheart, Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details: 1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk. 2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses. 3. Your house owner ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 13 Septembrie 2005


Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?" But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion." Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004


When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador’s wife was talking ...When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador’s wife was talking with Madame deGaulle: - Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Martie 2009


After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 August 2007


The truth about working in the IT industry: 1. We work weird (night) shifts... 2. They pay you to make the client happy... 3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny... 4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client's dreams... 5. Your friends fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in the same profession as you... 6. When you have to meet the client ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 Noiembrie 2006


When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning." "Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the heavens and the earth..." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Iulie 2007


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Mai 2009


The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005


Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said Bill, "but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat." Sally replied, "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you, dear." "OK, darling," said Bill, "but as I've got no time right now, just give me the good news." "OK," agreed Sally. "Well, the air bag works!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 August 2008


See if you can do this. Read each line aloud. This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is genius cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top. Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011


TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008


Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg aplicatiile si programele. COUNT DOWN...... 20. "That's weird..." 19. "It's never done that before." 18. "It worked yesterday." 17. "How is that possible?" 16. "It must be a hardware problem." 15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?" 14. "There is something funky in your data." 13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!" 12. "You must have ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 28 Noiembrie 2006


First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet School were receiving theirfirst anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them: - In vet medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: the first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Mai 2007


I am rejecting your rejection Dear Sir / Madam Thank you for your letter of 4 September 2003. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your company. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 8 Martie 2005


A boy who was a witness to a crime was called to testify in court. He was approached by the defense attorney who asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say in court?" "Yes, sir," answered the boy. "I thought so," said the attorney. "Who was it?" "My father, sir." "And what did he tell you?" the attorney asked accusingly. "He said that the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up, but if I told the ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Noiembrie 2006