The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 31 Oct 2006

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.

I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."

The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"

A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that most Germans would speak English. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including [...]
banc precedent A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. That customer's going to come back here pretty mad, [...]
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Subject on a math test... Solve the problem: find x on the triangle. Answer: see for yourself!!Subject on a math test... Solve the problem: find x on the triangle. Answer: see for yourself!! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 3 Octombrie 2005


An English professor wrote the words : "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing." All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing." Punctuation is powerful ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004


A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around; nobody's there. "I am having hallucinations," he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after a bit, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock. The deep voice says: OPEN! OK, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Aprilie 2008


A Chinese couple got married. When a baby girl was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown. Finally, the father named the baby SUM TING RONG." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006


3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically. A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004


Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011


A baby polar bear comes up to his mother and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?" "Why, yes, son, of course you are a polar bear," she replies, sending him out to play. Several minutes later, he returns. "Momma, are you absolutely sure I am a polar bear?" "Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go and play." Several minutes later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're sure I'm 100% polar bear?" "Yes, son, ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008


At a U2 concert in Ireland, Bono (the lead singer) asks the audience for some quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone... "I want you to think about something. Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice from the front of the audience yells out... "Then ****** stop clapping, ya ********!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 19 Iunie 2007


A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual?" "Yes," she replied, "I found ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004


About five years ago, the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time, so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand in starting the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Ianuarie 2008


On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 10 Iulie 2007


All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews, and the minister, responded with ripples of laughter. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride had given him back his credit card. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 28 Noiembrie 2006


All the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek. Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den. He is supposed to count up to 100 and then start searching. Everyone starts hiding except Newton. Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting: 1,2,3..97,98,99,100. He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Septembrie 2005


If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, itwill always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free... You either married it or gave birth to it ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 August 2007


I am rejecting your rejection Dear Sir / Madam Thank you for your letter of 4 September 2003. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your company. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 8 Martie 2005