- Bless me Father, for I have sinned with a woman. The priest asks, Is that you, little Johnny Parisi? - Yes, Father, it...
propus: 6 Oct 2006
- Bless me Father, for I have sinned
with a woman.
The priest asks, "Is
that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
-
Yes, Father, it is.
- And who was
the woman you were with?
- I can't
tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin
her reputation.
- Well, Johnny, I'm
sure to find out her name sooner or
later, so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?
- I cannot say.
- Was it Teresa Volpe?
- I'll
never tell.
- Was it Nina Capelli?
- I'm sorry but I cannot name her.
- Was it Cathy Piriano?
- My
lips are sealed.
- Was it Rosa Di
Angelo, then?
- Please, Father, I
cannot tell you.
The priest sighs
in frustration.
- You're very tight
lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire
that. But you've sinned and have to
atone. You cannot be an altar boy now
for 4 months. Now you go and behave
yourself.
Johnny walks back to his
pew, and his friend Nino slides over and
whispers, "What'd you get?"
- Four
months vacation and five good leads...
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.
banc precedent Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. When did you first notice the leak? the repairman inquired. Mr. Gable scowled. Last [...]
banc următor
Two cows are conversing in a field. The
first one says to the other, "Have you
heard about this 'mad cow disease' that
is going around?"
The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm
not worried about it; I'm an airplane!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Iulie 2008
An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom
that she has missed her period for two
months. Very worried, the mother goes to
the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is
pregnant.
Shouting, crying, the mother says, "Who
did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a
call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops
in front of their house; a mature
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met
her at the gates and said:
- You have been a good cat all these
years. Anything you want is yours for
the asking.
The cat thought for a minute and then
said:
- All my life I lived on a farm and
slept on hard wooden floors. I would
like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.
God said:
- Say no more.
Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy
pillow.
A few days later,
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Martie 2005
My girlfriend called me as she was
driving to an appointment. She arrived,
and I could tell from her voice that she
was getting frustrated. Finally she
said:
- I know I had my cell phone with me.
And
now I can't find it!
I replied:
- Aren't you talking on it!?
There was a solid period of stunned
silence as the reality of the situation
sank in - followed by:
- You are NOT going to tell anybody
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Februarie 2008
I'm sorry that you haven't
gotten much email from me lately.
It's because I'm tired. For a
couple years I've been blaming it on
iron poor blood, lack of vitamins,
dieting and a dozen other maladies. But
now I found out the real reason. I'm
tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237
million. 104 million are retired. That
leaves 133 million to do
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
After school one day, a young
first-grade boy was sitting at the
kitchen table, eating his afternoon
snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the
teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be
coming to school."
The boy's mother replied, "That's nice
of her to take such an interest, dear.
What did she say when you told her you
are an only child?"
She just said, "Thank
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Martie 2008
Manning the computer help desk for the
local school district was my first job.
And though I was just an intern, I took
the job very seriously. But not every
caller took me seriously.
- Can I talk to a real person? a caller
asked.
- I am real, I said.
- Oh, I'm sorry, the caller said. That
was rude of me. What I meant to say was,
could I talk to someone who actually
knows something?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Martie 2008
One night while I was cat-sitting my
daughter's indoor feline, it escaped
outside. When it failed to return the
following morning, I found the beast
clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in
a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down,
I called the fire department.
"We don't do that anymore," the woman
dispatcher said. When I persisted, she
was polite but firm. "The cat will come
down when it gets
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 30 Ianuarie 2007
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet
School were receiving theirfirst anatomy
class, with a real dead cow. They all
gathered around the surgery table with
the body covered with a white sheet. The
professor started the class by telling
them:
- In vet medicine it is necessary to
have two important qualities as a
doctor: the first is that you not be
disgusted by anything involving the
animal
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Mai 2007
See if you can do this. Read each line
aloud.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is genius cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on.
LOL!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011
A dog walks into an employment agency
and says:
- I'd like to get a job please.
The guy at the employment agency says:
- Wow, you could easily get a job at the
circus, with your talents!
The dog replys:
- What would the circus want with a
plumber?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 19 Noiembrie 2013
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg
aplicatiile si programele.
COUNT DOWN......
20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get
it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your
data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in
weeks!"
12. "You must have
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 28 Noiembrie 2006