- Bless me Father, for I have sinned with a woman. The priest asks, Is that you, little Johnny Parisi? - Yes, Father, it...
propus: 6 Oct 2006
- Bless me Father, for I have sinned
with a woman. A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge [...]
The priest asks, "Is
that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
Yes, Father, it is.
- And who was
the woman you were with?
- I can't
tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin
- Well, Johnny, I'm
sure to find out her name sooner or
later, so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?
- I cannot say.
- Was it Teresa Volpe?
- Was it Nina Capelli?
- I'm sorry but I cannot name her.
- Was it Cathy Piriano?
lips are sealed.
- Was it Rosa Di
- Please, Father, I
cannot tell you.
The priest sighs
- You're very tight
lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire
that. But you've sinned and have to
atone. You cannot be an altar boy now
for 4 months. Now you go and behave
Johnny walks back to his
pew, and his friend Nino slides over and
whispers, "What'd you get?"
months vacation and five good leads...
banc precedent Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. When did you first notice the leak? the repairman inquired. Mr. Gable scowled. Last [...]
Thoughts from USA...
When NASA first started
sending up astronauts, they quickly
discovered that ball-point pens would
not work in zero gravity. To combat this
problem, NASA scientists spent a decade
and $12 billion developing a pen that
writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on
almost any surface including glass and
at temperatures ranging from below
freezing to over 300 ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval
conference that included 20 Admirals
from the US, English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies.
reception, he found himself standing
with a huge group of officers that
included personnel from most of the
Everyone was chatting
away in English as they sipped their
drinks, but a French admiral suddenly
complained that, whereas Europeans ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Iulie 2007
A boy who was a witness to a crime was
called to testify in court. He was
approached by the defense attorney who
asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say
"Yes, sir," answered the
"I thought so," said the
attorney. "Who was it?"
"And what did he tell you?"
the attorney asked accusingly.
said that the lawyers would try to get
me all tangled up, but if I ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Noiembrie 2006
I've sure gotten old. I've had two
bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, and
take 40 different medications that make
me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
hands and feet anymore. Can't remember
if I'm 85 or 92. Have ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Decembrie 2006
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing
problems for a number of years. He went
to the doctor and the doctor was able to
have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear
The elderly gentleman
went back in a month to the doctor and
the doctor said:
- Your hearing is
perfect. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear again.
To which the gentleman ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
A baby polar bear comes up to his mother
and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a
polar bear," she replies, sending him
out to play.
later, he returns. "Momma, are you
absolutely sure I am a polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go
later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're
sure I'm 100% polar bear?"
"Yes, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in
the Caribbean. The lawyer said:
here because my house burned down, and
everything I owned was destroyed by the
fire. The insurance company paid for
"That's quite a
coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm
here because my house and all my
belongings were destroyed by a flood,
and my insurance company also paid for
The lawyer ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Aprilie 2007
1. I feel like I'm
diagonally parked in a parallel
2. On the other hand,
it's better to have fingers than toes.
3. A day without sunshine is
like. .. night!
4. How many of
you believe in psycho-kenisis? Raise my
5. Everyone has a
photographic memory, but some don't have
6. When everything is
coming your way. .. you're in the wrong
lane. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 August 2006
A dog walks into an employment agency
- I'd like to get a job
The guy at the employment
- Wow, you could easily
get a job at the circus, with your
The dog replys:
would the circus want with a plumber? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
George B.: Condi! Nice to see you.
Sir, I have the report here about the
new leader of China.
Great. Lay it on me.
Hu is the new leader of China.
George B.: That's what I want to
Condoleeza R.: That's what I'm
George B.: That's what
I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: I ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Septembrie 2006
Three engineering students were gathered
together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
said, "It was a mechanical engineer."
Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical
The last one said,
"Actually it must have been a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
A couple had only been married for two
weeks and the husband, although very
much in love, couldn't wait to go out on
the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife,
"Honey, I'll be right back."
are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty
Face," he answered. I'm going to have a
The wife said, "You want a
beer, my love?" She ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 August 2007
A ragged individual stranded for several
months on a small desert island in the
middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a
bottle lying in the sand with a piece of
paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he
pulled out the cork and with shaking
hands withdrew the message.
lack of maintenance," he read, "we
regretfully have found it necessary to
cancel your e-mail account." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Mai 2007