THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE: Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: Will you marry me? The girl said NO! And the guy...
propus: 16 Ian 2006
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over
his dining room, so he called a
repairman to take a look at it. "When
did you first notice the leak?" the
repairman inquired.
Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it
took me two hours to finish my soup!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Octombrie 2006
You are driving along in your car on a
wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting
for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is
about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your
life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have
been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a
ride to, knowing that there could only
be one passenger in your car.
Think
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005
Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work
for a chat.
"I'm sorry dear," said Bill, "but I'm up
to my neck in work today. I don't have
time to chat."
Sally replied, "But I've got some good
news and some bad news for you, dear."
"OK, darling," said Bill, "but as I've
got no time right now, just give me the
good news."
"OK," agreed Sally. "Well, the air bag
works!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 August 2008
European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other
possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British
Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
that would become known as
"Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 5 Aprilie 2006
Concerned about fitness in my middle
40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To
my dismay I walked into a room filled
with much younger women and decided to
combat my nervousness with humor.
"I'm here to do my postnatal exercises."
The instructor gave me an appraising
look. "How old is your baby?"
"Twenty-six," I replied.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Februarie 2008
A young husband comes home one night,
and his wife throws her arms around his
neck: "Darling, I have great news:
I'm a month overdue. I think
we're going to have a baby! The
doctor gave me a test today, but until
we find out for sure, we can't tell
anybody."
The next day, a guy from the electric
company rings the door-bell, because the
young couple hasn't paid their last
bill:
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
The man told his doctor that he wasn't
able to do all the things around the
house that he used to do. When the
examination was complete, he said:
- Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in
plain English what is wrong with me.
- Well, in plain English, the doctor
replied, you're just lazy.
- Okay, said the man. Now give me the
medical term so I can tell my wife.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story
This is classic - a true story, proving
how fascinating is the mind of a six
year old. They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story of the
Three Little Pigs to her class. She came
to the part of the story where the first
pig was trying to gather the building
materials for his home. She read,
"...and so the pig went up to the man
with the wheelbarrow
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
In a class on abnormal psychology, the
instructor was about to introduce the
subject of manic depression.
The instructor asked, "How would you
diagnose a patient who walks back and
forth, screaming at the top of his lungs
one minute, then sits in a chair weeping
uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand
and suggested earnestly, "A basketball
coach?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Decembrie 2006
Woman's revenge...
- Cash, check or charge? I asked, after
folding items the woman wished to
purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed
a remote control for a television set in
her purse.
- So, do you always carry your TV
remote? I asked.
- No, she replied, but my husband
refused to come shopping with me, and I
figured this was the most evil thing I
could do to him legally.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 7 Mai 2010
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow
of silence: he is allowed to say two
words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders
bring him in and ask for his two words.
"Cold floors," he says. They nod and
send him away.
Seven more years pass. They bring him
back in and ask for his two words. He
clears his throats and says, "Bad food."
They nod and send him away.
Seven more years
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
During a taxi, the crew of a US Air
departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made
a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with
a United 727. The irate ground
controller (a female) lashed out at the
US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771,
where are you going? I told you to turn
right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned
right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I
know it's difficult to tell the
difference between a C
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 25 Martie 2008