Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the...
propus: 29 Nov 2005
I am rejecting your rejection
Dear Sir / Madam
Thank you for your letter of 4 September
2003. After careful consideration I
regret to inform you that I am unable to
accept your refusal to offer me
employment with your company. This year
I have been particularly fortunate in
receiving an unusually large number of
rejection letters. With such a varied
and promising field of candidates it is
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 8 Martie 2005
THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl:
"Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and
went fishing, hunting and played golf a
lot and drank beer whenever he wanted.
THE END
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Ianuarie 2006
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and
you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
Gravitation is not responsible for
people falling in love.
I never think of the future. It comes
soon enough.
The only thing that interferes with my
learning is my education.
Education is what remains after one has
forgotten everything he learned in
school.
Two things are infinite: the universe
and human stupidity; and I'm not
sure about the universe.
Wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 12 Aprilie 2005
One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to
pack his own lunch for school. His mom
agreed. But they couldn't agree on what
he should pack, so they both made lists.
This was the mom's list:
One sandwich
One apple
Pretzels
A carton of milk
This was Jake's list:
Candy
Candy
Candy
Jake agreed to compromise. Sure enough,
the next morning, Jake was ready for
school and he packed his lunch. His mom
came
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 12 Ianuarie 2007
Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking
the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign
says you're open 24 hours." He goes:
"Not in a row!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE
JOB?
Put about 100 bricks in some particular
order in a closed room with an open
window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
the room and close the door. Leave them
alone and come back after 6 hours and
then analyses the situation.
If they are counting the bricks. Put
them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them. Put them in
auditing.
If they
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
A husband, the owner of a new car, was
somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to
drive his prize possession, even to the
grocery store, which was a few blocks
from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented,
cautioning her as she departed,
"Remember, if you have an accident, the
newspaper will print your age."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 25 Septembrie 2008
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red
wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts
of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and
eat lots
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 11 Noiembrie 2004
1. Project Manager is a person who
thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
one month.
2. Developer is a person who thinks it
will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks
a single woman can deliver nine babies
in one month.
4. Client is the one who doesn't
know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who
thinks he can deliver a baby even if no
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Aprilie 2005
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I
don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied:
- Not a problem, leave it all to me.
Robert looked somewhat upset and said:
- Well, I knew you were going to take a
big portion, but I would like to leave a
little to my family too!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
- 25th Wedding Anniversary -
At the banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th
wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to
give his friends a brief account of the
benefits of a marriage of such long
duration.
- Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have
learned from all those wonderful years
with your wife?
Tom responded:
- Well, I've learned that marriage is
the best teacher of all. It teaches you
loyalty,
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 21 Iunie 2007
Students at a school were asked to write
about the harmful effects of oil on
fish.
One 11-year-old wrote, "When my mom
opened a tin of sardines last night, it
was full of oil and all the sardines
were dead."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 4 Mai 2007
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife
about how many words women use a day:
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to
men...
The husband then turned to his wife and
asked, 'What?'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 30 Mai 2010