FINAL EXAM The student reports for his university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. He takes his seat...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 31 Aug 2004

FINAL EXAM

The student reports for his university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and! No, for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out.

During the last few minutes he is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically. A teacher was reading the story of [...]
banc precedent A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a [...]
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Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around?" The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it; I'm an airplane!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Iulie 2008


I am rejecting your rejection Dear Sir / Madam Thank you for your letter of 4 September 2003. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your company. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 8 Martie 2005


Two mothers are having a conversation about their children one day. - How do you get your Marvin up so early on school mornings? asks Joan. - Oh, that's easy, replies Marianne. I just throw the cat on his bed. - Why does that wake him up? - He sleeps with the dog! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Martie 2008


A couple is lying in bed. The man says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says: "I'll miss you." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Iunie 2005


- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words. - The Lord's Prayer: 66 words. - Archimedes' Principle: 67 words. - The 10 Commandments: 179 words. - The Gettysburg address: 286 words. - The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words. - - - The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words!!! - - - ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 10 Aprilie 2007


Bula at the exam: Teacher: - Bula, I hope that this time I won't catch you cheating again! Bula: - I hope so too. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 August 2011


I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." So I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 30 Mai 2005


My sister, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." Perfect, my sister thought, and took the dog. Then one day, two men in a parking lot approached her, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Iunie 2007


A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual?" "Yes," she replied, "I found ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004


1. Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. 2. Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby. 3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks a single woman can deliver nine babies in one month. 4. Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby. 5. Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Aprilie 2005


- Are you sure this is british beef? - Of horse it is! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 Aprilie 2013


All the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek. Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den. He is supposed to count up to 100 and then start searching. Everyone starts hiding except Newton. Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting: 1,2,3..97,98,99,100. He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Septembrie 2005


This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: 'Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? 'A. It is ...This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? "A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. "Q. Where will the government get this money? "A. From taxpayers. "Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? "A. No, they are ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Ianuarie 2009


I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004


A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the hamster and asked him: Dude, How come people consider me a noisance, and you a pet? How come people pay money to have you, while they are trying to kill me? How come you are considered a cute little animal, while I am considered creepy and disgusting? How come you live in ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Septembrie 2004