3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 31 Aug 2004

3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story

This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?" The teacher paused then asked the
class: " And what do you think the man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said very matter of factly "I think the man would have said: "WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME - A TALKING PIG!!!" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

A Czech goes to the optician who shows him a card with the letters 'C Z W X N Q S T A C Z'. Can you read this? the optician asks. Read it? the Czech replies, I even know the guy.
banc precedent
FINAL EXAM The student reports for his university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five [...]
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Ce ar putea intelege cineva care nu stie engleza atunci cand te aude spunand: "I can't believe you." Raspuns: "Ai Kent, ba Liviu?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 11 Noiembrie 2014


THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY
WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. ...THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. Anti-constitutionalistically 3. Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Tran substantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. No thanks, I'm married. 2. Nope, no more booze for me! 3. Sorry, but you're not really ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Mai 2008


If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006


A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around; nobody's there. "I am having hallucinations," he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after a bit, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock. The deep voice says: OPEN! OK, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Aprilie 2008


A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that most Germans would speak English. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I simply nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested. When he ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Octombrie 2006


Jack, who is a smart businessman, talks to his son Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice Son: "I will choose my own bride!" Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter." Son: "Well, in that case..." Next Jack approaches Bill Gates. Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter." Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!" Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 29 Septembrie 2005


On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 10 Iulie 2007


Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
taking part in a local tournament. As he
was preparing to tee off, the organizer
of the tournament approached him and
pointed to the dark, threatening storm ...Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening storm clouds that were gathering. "Preacher," the organizer said, "I trust you'll see to it that the weather won't turn bad on us." Our pastor shook his head. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm sales, not management!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 29 Octombrie 2008


If Adam and Eve were Chinese we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Februarie 2005


A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Octombrie 2006


Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"? A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front". ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007


Woman's revenge... - Cash, check or charge? I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. - So, do you always carry your TV remote? I asked. - No, she replied, but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 7 Mai 2010


A cowboy went to an insurance agency to buy a policy. The agent asked, "Have you ever had an accident?" "Nope," replied the cowboy. "Last summer, a bronc kicked in two of my ribs, and a couple of years ago, a rattlesnake bit me on the ankle." "Wouldn't you call those accidents?" quizzed the puzzled agent. "Naw," the cowboy replied. "They did it on purpose!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Noiembrie 2006


"Davey, what sound does a cow make?" Davey replied, "It goes 'moo.'" "Alice, what sound does a cat make?" Alice said, "It goes 'meow.'" "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa.'" "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" Jennifer paused, and said, "Uhh. .. it goes. .. 'click!'" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 14 August 2007


- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words. - The Lord's Prayer: 66 words. - Archimedes' Principle: 67 words. - The 10 Commandments: 179 words. - The Gettysburg address: 286 words. - The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words. - - - The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words!!! - - - ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 10 Aprilie 2007