A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a Dear John letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 10 Iun 2005
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
banc precedent A dog looks at its owner and thinks: You feed me, care for me, and love me...you must be a god! A cat looks at its owner and thinks: You feed me, care for me, and love me...I must be a god!
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A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Octombrie 2006
Man: God? God: Yes!? Man: Can I ask you something? God: Yes. Man: What is for you a million of years? God: A second. Man: And a million of dollars? God: A penny. Man: God, Can you give me a penny? God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual?" "Yes," she replied, "I found ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
Dr. Marc Faber, investment guru, concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the following comments: "The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 3 Aprilie 2009
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I though you just said it was nine-one-one. Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
Problem: Expand expression (a+b)n
See for yourself what solution our
student has found.
... Also our teacher's comment, written
with red. ... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 August 2006
Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar. One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like him. “Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?” “Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the face. How ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 24 August 2008
A dog looks at its owner and thinks: "You feed me, care for me, and love me...you must be a god!" A cat looks at its owner and thinks: "You feed me, care for me, and love me...I must be a god!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 August 2005
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. So she immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned to a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed even more amused. When, on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Iulie 2007
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message. "Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Mai 2007
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, itwill always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free... You either married it or gave birth to it ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 August 2007
Bula at the exam: Teacher: - Bula, I hope that this time I won't catch you cheating again! Bula: - I hope so too. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 August 2011
A Chinese couple got married. When a baby girl was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown. Finally, the father named the baby SUM TING RONG." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006