When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady near a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 24 Feb 2005
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady near a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong.
banc precedent If Adam and Eve were Chinese we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.
banc următor
- Comentează
- 8.6 din 10 note
- Are you sure this is british beef? - Of horse it is! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 Aprilie 2013
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it'sdirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Martie 2007
- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words. - The Lord's Prayer: 66 words. - Archimedes' Principle: 67 words. - The 10 Commandments: 179 words. - The Gettysburg address: 286 words. - The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words. - - - The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words!!! - - - ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 10 Aprilie 2007
A boy who was a witness to a crime was called to testify in court. He was approached by the defense attorney who asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say in court?" "Yes, sir," answered the boy. "I thought so," said the attorney. "Who was it?" "My father, sir." "And what did he tell you?" the attorney asked accusingly. "He said that the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up, but if I told the ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Noiembrie 2006
Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor. "I'm here to do my postnatal exercises." The instructor gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?" "Twenty-six," I replied. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Februarie 2008
Have you heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"? Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Las Vegas, got lost, and ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Decembrie 2007
Bula at the exam: Teacher: - Bula, I hope that this time I won't catch you cheating again! Bula: - I hope so too. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 August 2011
Stephen Spielberg is casting for a new film based around the great composers. Anyway to give the film a twist and some "oomph" he decides to cast the parts to the great action heroes of today. He calls Stallone, Arnie, Bruce Willis and Seagal into his office to hear who they would like to play. - Well, started Stallone, I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him. - Chopin has always ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Noiembrie 2005
There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to hide
evil intentions!
The Team Leader, busy figuring out what
work to dump on you next...
And, there's YOU, who struggles with it
all! ... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 22 Iunie 2008
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I though you just said it was nine-one-one. Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret looked him over.. "Nope." Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 27 Ianuarie 2009
1. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. 2. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. 3. You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing. 4. A penny saved is a government oversight. 5. The ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 30 Mai 2005
One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, I called the fire department. "We don't do that anymore," the woman dispatcher said. When I persisted, she was polite but firm. "The cat will come down when it gets ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 30 Ianuarie 2007
Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you. The next day I stopped smoking. Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you. The next day I stopped eating red meat. Eight days ago, I read that drinking can kill you. The next day I stopped drinking. Yesterday, I read that even the air can kill you. This morning I stopped reading. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 25 Aprilie 2005
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find
North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who
discovered America?
CLASS: Maria. ... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008