Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going...
propus de: Ale pe data: 23 Iul 2008
Two cows are conversing in a field. The
first one says to the other, "Have you
heard about this 'mad cow disease' that
is going around?"
The second cow
responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it; I'm an airplane!"
A baby polar bear comes up to his mother
and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a
polar bear," she replies, sending him
out to play.
Several minutes
later, he returns. "Momma, are you
absolutely sure I am a polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go
and play."
Several minutes
later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're
sure I'm 100% polar bear?"
"Yes,
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
Dr. Marc Faber, investment guru,
concluded his monthly bulletin (June
2008) with the following comments:
"The federal government is sending
each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend
that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes
to China. If we spend it on gasoline it
goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer,
it will go to India. If we purchase
fruits and vegetables it will go to
Mexico, Honduras and
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 3 Aprilie 2009
I am passing this on to you because it
definitely worked for me and we all
could use more calm in our lives. By
following the simple advice I heard on a
Dr. Phil show, I have finally found
inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The
way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you've started." So I
looked around my house to see all the
things I started and hadn't
finished, and before
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 30 Mai 2005
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
pray?"
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's
utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004
Hung Chow calls work and says:
-
Hey, boss I no come work today, I really
sick. I got headache, stomach ache and
my legs hurt, I no come work.
The
boss says:
- You know Hung Chow, I
really need you today. When I feel like
that I go to my wife and tell her to
sing for me. That makes everything
better and I go work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls
again:
- Boss, I do what you say
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005
I recall a time when my son was about 18
months old. I had him strapped into a
backpack and was rushing to catch the
bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell
down an entire flight of stairs (13 to
be exact). I was bruised and bleeding
and had torn my jeans ... but my main
concern was, naturally, for my child.
My fears were alleviated,
though, when from behind me I heard a
gleeful giggle followed
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
1. Project Manager is a person who
thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
one month.
2. Developer is a person
who thinks it will take 18 months to
deliver a baby.
3. Onsite
Coordinator is one who thinks a single
woman can deliver nine babies in one
month.
4. Client is the one who
doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who
thinks he can deliver a baby even if
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Aprilie 2005
- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
-
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
-
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
-
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
-
The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
-
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300
words.
- - - The US Government
regulations on the sale of cabbage:
26,911 words!!! - - -
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 10 Aprilie 2007
Jack Benny is walking down the street,
when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and
says: Your money or your life!
An
extremely long silence follows. Your
money or your life!, the thug repeats.
Finally Benny says: I am thinking!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
WORDS
A husband read an article to
his wife about how many words women use
a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The
wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to
men...
The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, 'What?'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 30 Mai 2010
A linguistics professor was lecturing
his class one day.
- In English, he
said, a double negative forms a
positive. In some languages, though,
such as Romanian, a double negative is
still a negative. However, there is no
language wherein a double positive can
form a negative.
A loud voice from
the back of the room piped up:
-
Yeah, right.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
After school one day, a young
first-grade boy was sitting at the
kitchen table, eating his afternoon
snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the
teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be
coming to school."
The boy's mother
replied, "That's nice of her to take
such an interest, dear. What did she say
when you told her you are an only
child?"
She just said, "Thank
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Martie 2008
A dragon is asking a kid:
- What are
your parents' names?
The kid
replied:
- My father's name is
Laughing and my mother's name is
Smiling.
The dragon said:
- Are
you kidding?
The kid said:
- No,
Kidding is my brother. I am Joking.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Martie 2015