I was out walking with my 4 year old
daughter. She picked up something off
the ground and started to put it in her
mouth. I took the item away from her and
I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my
daughter asked. "Because it's been on
the ground, you don't know where it's
been, it'sdirty and probably has germs"
I replied. At this point, my daughter
looked at me with total admiration and
asked,"Mommy, how do you know all this
stuff? You are so smart." I was thinking
quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's
on the MommyTest. You have to know it,
or they don't let you be a Mommy." We
walked along in silence for 2 or 3
minutes, but she was evidentlypondering
this new information. "OH... I get [...] citește tot
Un profesor de matematica la magazinul
foto: - As dori sa developez cateva
filme, va rog... - 9 x 13? -
117. De ce? : : deschide bancul
Categoria: Bancuri Seci Pe site din data de: 21 Martie 2007 Nota 8.6 din 31 voturi
Vine un smecher intr-o zi la magazin:
- Vreau sa cumpar un litru de paine.
- Eee... cu placere... aveti sticla
in care sa v-o torn? - ? !!?? : : deschide bancul
Categoria: Bancuri Seci Pe site din data de: 21 Martie 2007 Nota 8.9 din 26 voturi
Cele cinci porunci ale vietii (valabile
in prezent): 1. Sa nu gandesti.
2. Daca gandesti, sa nu spui. 3.
Daca spui, sa nu scrii. 4. Daca
scrii, sa nu semnezi. 5. Daca
semnezi, sa nu te miri. : : deschide bancul
Categoria: Maxime si Cugetari Pe site din data de: 15 Martie 2007 Nota 8.9 din 11 voturi
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk
about his dreams. "Every night," the
man said, "I dream that these three
hideous monsters are sitting on the edge
of my bed, ready to attack me."
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel
sure I can cure you of this problem. But
the treatment will cost you somewhere
between twenty-five and thirty thousand
dollars." "Thirty thousand dollars!"
the man gasped. "Never mind getting rid
of the monsters, Doctor. I think I'll go
home and try to make friends with them!" : : deschide bancul
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday. The
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest. The priest
came to visit Bubba and suggested that
he become a Catholic. After several
classes and much study, Bubba attended
Mass. The priest sprinkled holy
water over him and said, "You were born
a Baptist and raised as a Baptist, but
now you are Catholic." Bubba's
neighbors were greatly relieved, until
Friday night [...] citește tot
Merge iepurasul prin padure si gaseste
doua pistoale... se intalneste cu
vulpea: - Vulpeo, pac pac (trage
doua focuri in aer), in aceasta padure,
pac pac, este un munte de resturi, pac
pac, pe care o daca nu o sa-l mananci,
pac pac, te impusc, pac pac...
Vulpea mananca resturile si
pleaca... se intalneste iepurasul si cu
veverita si cu lupul si intr-un tarziu
cu ursul: - Ursule, pac pac (trage
doua focuri in aer), in aceasta padure,
pac pac, este un munte de resturi, pac
pac, pe care daca nu o sa-l mananci,
clic.. clic... o sa il mananc eu... : : deschide bancul
Se duce Bula la scoala. Dna invatatoare
ii zice: - Bula, ai ca tema de
raspuns la intrebarile urmatoare: ce
faci cand un vapor pleca, ce faci cand
un om se ineaca, ce faci cand e coada la
paine, ce faci cand doi oameni se bat?
Bula o intreaba pe maica-sa: -
Mama, mama, ce fac cand un vapor pleaca?
- Scoti batista si spui la revedere.
- Ce fac cand un om se ineaca? -
Ii dai colacul de salvare si il tragi la
mal. - Ce fac cand e coada la paine?
- Iti astepti randul civilizat.
- Ce fac cand doi oameni se bat?
- Chemi politia. - Mersi mama!
zice bula. Urmatoarea zi Bula se
duce la scoala si desigur incurca
raspunsurile. Dna invatatoare [...] citește tot
Categoria: Bancuri cu Bula Pe site din data de: 2 Martie 2007 Nota 8.9 din 26 voturi
- Sotia mea afirma ca este foarte
sanatos sa consum alimente crude. -
Da, nici nevestei mele nu-i place sa
gateasca. : : deschide bancul