On a sunny morning, William's mother
came into her son's room and said,
"William, it's Sunday. Time to get up!
Time to get up and go to church! Get
up!" From under the covers came
mumbles, "I don't want to go!" "What
do you mean?" she said. "That's silly!
Now get up and get dressed and go to
church!" "No!" he shot back. "I'll
give you two reasons. I don't like them
and they don't like me!" "Nonsense,"
she told him. "I'll give YOU two reasons
to go. First, you are 42 years old, and
second, you are the PASTOR!" : : deschide bancul
Un tip merge la un dealer de Ferrari si
cumpara cea mai puternica masina din
magazin. A doua zi se intoarce cu
masina si spune ca transmisia e
stricata... Dealeru' se uita, intelege
ca transmisia e stricata si ii da
tipului alta masina in locul celei
cumparate. Urmatoarea zi tipul, iar,
cu masina varza… Dealerul,
nedumerit, il scoate pe tip pe circuit:
- Ia arata-mi si mie cum schimbi tu
vitezele ca sa inteleg care-i
problema... Incepe tipu' cu 1, a 2-a, a
3-a,a 4-a, a 5-a, a 6-a, dupa care cu un
tipat de nebun striga: - Si acu'
RACHETAAAA... (si schimba in "R") : : deschide bancul
Acum 2 zile am fost invitata la o
petrecere numai cu femei si i-am promis
sotului ca ma intorc la 12 noaptea...
Orele treceau, noi ne simteam bine,
sampania curgea, asa ca doar pe la 3
dimineata m-am indreptat spre casa,
beata crita. Tocmai cand am ajuns la
usa, ceasul cu cuc din holul casei a
inceput sa cante de 3 ori. Dandu-mi
seama ca sotul meu o sa se trezeasca si
o sa-l auda, am mai facut eu cu-cu de
inca 9 ori. Am fost tare mandra de ce
idee geniala am avut - chiar fiind beata
pulbere - ca sa evit un conflict
familial. A doua zi dimineata,
sotul meu m-a intrebat la ce ora am
venit si cand i-am spus ca la 12, nu a
parut foarte surprins (uufff, am
scapat!). Dupa putin timp [...] citește tot
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
is it?" The tower responded, "Who is
calling?" The aircraft replied,
"What difference does it make?" The
tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American
Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it
is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand
is on the 12 and the little hand is on
the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft,
it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes
to 'Happy [...] citește tot
Dupa miezul noptii, suna cineva la usa.
Bubulina se duce somnoroasa sa
deschida. In fata usii erau patru
barbati, beti crita. - Stimata
doamna, noi am venit sa-l conducem pe
sotul dv. pana acasa, dar nu stim care
dintre noi este... : : deschide bancul
Categoria: Bancuri cu Betivi Pe site din data de: 2 Iulie 2007 Nota 8.0 din 12 voturi
Un barbat vine la doctor si ii
marturiseste ca are probleme cu potenta.
Doctorul ii zice: - Asta nu mai
e in zilele noastre o problema! Tocmai
s-a scos pe piata un nou medicament,
Viagra, care pune capat tuturor
problemelor de acest gen. Doctorul
ii prescrie pilula si omul nostru
pleaca. Dupa cateva luni, doctorul se
intalneste pe strada cu pacientul: -
Domnule doctor, medicamentul dv. e o
minune! Va multumesc din suflet! E
minunat! - Ma bucur sa aud asta,
zice doctorul. Ce parere are sotia dv.
despre asta? - Sotia?! intreaba
uimit omul nostru. Pai de atunci n-am
mai dat pe acasa... : : deschide bancul
A lady about eight months pregnant got
on a bus. She noticed the man opposite
her was smiling at her. So she
immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned to a
grin, so she moved again. The man seemed
even more amused. When, on the fourth
move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the
man arrested. The case came up in
court. The judge asked the man (about 20
years old) what he had to say for
himself. The man replied, "Well your
Honor, it was like this... When the lady
got on the bus, I couldn't help but
notice her condition. She sat under a
sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins
are coming,' and I grinned. Then she
moved and sat under a [...] citește tot
- 25th Wedding Anniversary - At the
banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th wedding
anniversary, Tom was asked to give his
friends a brief account of the benefits
of a marriage of such long duration.
- Tell us, Tom, just what is it you
have learned from all those wonderful
years with your wife? Tom responded:
- Well, I've learned that marriage
is the best teacher of all. It teaches
you loyalty, forbearance, meekness,
self-restraint, forgiveness and a great
many other qualities you wouldn't have
needed if you'd stayed single. : : deschide bancul