Doi pensionari stateau in parc pe o
banca, cand vad o blonda. Unul dintre ei
spune: - Vezi blonda aia? Moare dupa
mine! Celalalt raspunde: - Cum
asa? Primul pensionar: - Ca doar
n-o sa moara inaintea mea! : : deschide bancul
Intr-un prestigios muzeu antropologic,
ghidul se adreaseaza turistilor: -
Iar aici avem scheletul unui tiranosaur
rex care este vechi de 65 de milioane de
ani si 15 zile. Un turist surprins
intreaba: - Domnule, dar cum de
stiti varsta acestui schelet cu atata
precizie? - Pai cand am inceput sa
lucrez aici mi-au spus ca avea 65 de
milioane de ani... iar eu lucrez aici de
15 zile! : : deschide bancul
Categoria: Bancuri Diverse Pe site din data de: 21 Septembrie 2007 Nota 8.8 din 10 voturi
Ale matale-s oile? intreba un turist pe
Badea Gheorghe, cioban la oi. -
Incontestabil. - Ia te uita! Si le
duci la pascut? - Mais non. La
autofurajare. : : deschide bancul
Categoria: Bancuri cu Gheorghe Pe site din data de: 19 Septembrie 2007 Nota 8.3 din 8 voturi
Tehnica vanzatorilor... La un team
building, echipele de IT, vanzari si
logistica se distreaza. La un
moment dat, echipa de logistica intra
intr-un desis si iese de acolo cu un
iepure spunand: avem de un gratar!
Mai stau ce mai stau, intra echipa
de la IT in desis si ies si ei tot cu un
iepure spunand: uite si de o friptura!
Echipa vanzatorilor, un pic iritata
si privind de sus (ca de obicei), intra
in padure, si... liniste... liniste...
deodata urlete, crengi rupte,
vanzoleala! Echipa de vanzari buluc iese
din desis cu un urs dupa ei! Din fuga,
striga catre cei de la logistica si de
la IT: - Noi vi l-am adus, voi...
descurcati-va!!! : : deschide bancul
Mi-am sunat seful in dimineata asta sa-i
spun ca azi raman acasa, ca nu ma simt
bine. - Ce s-a intamplat? intreaba
el. - Am o criza de glaucom anal,
raspund eu cu o voce stinsa. - Da'
ce naiba e glaucomul anal? - Nu-mi
vad fundu' venind la munca azi... : : deschide bancul
Once upon a time in a land far away, a
beautiful, independent, self-assured
princess happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues on the
shores of an unpolluted pond in a
verdant meadow near her castle. The frog
hopped into the princess' lap and said:
- Elegant Lady, I was once a
handsome prince, until an evil witch
cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you,
however, and I will turn back into the
dapper, young prince that I am and then,
my sweet, we can marry and set up
housekeeping in your castle with my
mother, where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children, and
forever feel grateful and happy doing
so. That night, as the princess
dined [...] citește tot
Profesoara a vorbit mult despre scopul
vietii si rolul omului in societate.
Apoi intreba: - Copii, ce ati dori
sa auziti in timpul inmormantarii
voastre? Vasile: - As dori ca
oamenii sa spuna ca am fost un medic
extraordinar, ca am salvat viata multor
oameni... Maria: - As dori ca
toti sa spuna ca am fost o sotie buna, o
mama si o bunica, sa ma iubeasca toti.
- Dar tu, Ioane, ce ai dori sa auzi?
- "Priviti! Se misca, se misca!!!" : : deschide bancul
A young lady visited the government
matchmaker for marriage and requested:
"I'm looking for a spouse. Can you
please help me to find a suitable one?"
The marriage officer said: "Your
requirements please." "Well, let me
see. Needs to be good looking, polite,
humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at
singing and dancing. Willing to
accompany me the whole day at home
during my leisure hour, if I don't go
out. Telling me interesting stories
when I need companion for conversation
and be silent when I want to rest."
The officer listened carefully and
replied: "I understand. You need a
television." : : deschide bancul
After buying her kids a pet hamster,
after they PROMISED they would take care
of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the
responsibility. One evening,
exasperated, she asked them, "How many
times do you think that hamster would
have died if I hadn't looked after it?"
After a moment, her youngest son
replied quizzically, "Once?" : : deschide bancul