The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance company. Do you have a second mortgage on your home? No, I...
propus: 2 Feb 2007
A Czech goes to the optician who shows
him a card with the letters 'C Z W X
N Q S T A C Z'.
"Can you read this?" the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Czech replies, "I even
know the guy."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
Q: What's the difference between biology
and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or
mom, then it is biology. When the baby
looks like the neighbour, then it is
sociology.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met
her at the gates and said:
- You have been a good cat all these
years. Anything you want is yours for
the asking.
The cat thought for a minute and then
said:
- All my life I lived on a farm and
slept on hard wooden floors. I would
like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.
God said:
- Say no more.
Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy
pillow.
A few days later,
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Martie 2005
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over
his dining room, so he called a
repairman to take a look at it. "When
did you first notice the leak?" the
repairman inquired.
Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it
took me two hours to finish my soup!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Octombrie 2006
A lady about eight months pregnant got
on a bus. She noticed the man opposite
her was smiling at her. So she
immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned to a grin, so
she moved again. The man seemed even
more amused. When, on the fourth move,
the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the
man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge
asked the man
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Iulie 2007
Have you heard of the Air Force's
ultra-high-security, super-secret base
in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force
folks out at Area 51 were very surprised
to see a Cessna landing at their
"secret" base. They immediately
impounded the aircraft and hauled the
pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took off
from Las Vegas, got lost, and
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Decembrie 2007
A cowboy went to an insurance agency to
buy a policy. The agent asked, "Have you
ever had an accident?"
"Nope," replied the cowboy. "Last
summer, a bronc kicked in two of my
ribs, and a couple of years ago, a
rattlesnake bit me on the ankle."
"Wouldn't you call those accidents?"
quizzed the puzzled agent.
"Naw," the cowboy replied. "They did it
on purpose!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Noiembrie 2006
On a sunny morning, William's mother
came into her son's room and said,
"William, it's Sunday. Time to get up!
Time to get up and go to church! Get
up!"
From under the covers came mumbles, "I
don't want to go!"
"What do you mean?" she said. "That's
silly! Now get up and get dressed and go
to church!"
"No!" he shot back. "I'll give you two
reasons. I don't like them and they
don't like
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sâmbătă, 14 Iulie 2007
Stephen Spielberg is casting for a new
film based around the great composers.
Anyway to give the film a twist and some
"oomph" he decides to cast the parts to
the great action heroes of today. He
calls Stallone, Arnie, Bruce Willis and
Seagal into his office to hear who they
would like to play.
- Well, started Stallone, I've always
admired Mozart. I would love to play
him.
- Chopin has always
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Noiembrie 2005
Late one night, a man walks into a
dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You
need a psychiatrist."
Man: "Yes, I know."
Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"
Man: "Well, the light was on."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 9 Mai 2007
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan
meets him, shows him doors to three
rooms, and says he must choose one spend
eternity in.
In the first room, people are standing
in shit up to their necks. The guy says
"no, let me see the next room."
In the second room, people are standing
with shit up to their noses. Guy says no
again.
Finally, Satan opens the door to the
third room. People are standing
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006