CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him...
propus: 30 Mai 2010
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks
into a pharmacy and wanders up & down
the aisles..
The sales girl notices
him and asks him if she can help him. He
answers that he is looking for a box of
tampons for his wife. She directs him
down the correct aisle.
A few
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of
cotton balls and a ball of string on the
counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I
thought you were looking for some
tampons for your wife?
He answers,
'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I
sent my wife to the store to get me a
carton of cigarettes, and she came back
with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
papers; cause it's sooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my
own, so does she...
There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to
hide evil intentions!
The Team
Leader, busy figuring out what work to
dump on you next...
And, there's
YOU, who struggles with it all!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 22 Iunie 2008
You Know You Have a Bad Computer When...
10. The lower corner of screen has
the words "Etch A Sketch" on it.
9.
When you insert a disk, it spits out a
pack of cigarettes.
8. You have to
pedal it.
7. The manual contains one
sentence: "Good luck!"
6. The only
chip inside came from a bag of Doritos.
5. When you turn it on, the dogs in
the neighborhood start howling.
4.
You catch a virus from
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007
"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"
Davey replied, "It goes 'moo.'"
"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"
Alice said, "It goes 'meow.'"
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb
make?"
Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa.'"
"Jennifer, what sound does a
mouse make?"
Jennifer paused, and
said, "Uhh. .. it goes. .. 'click!'"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 14 August 2007
Q: What's the difference between biology
and sociology?
A: When the baby
looks like his dad or mom, then it is
biology. When the baby looks like the
neighbour, then it is sociology.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
One night while I was cat-sitting my
daughter's indoor feline, it escaped
outside. When it failed to return the
following morning, I found the beast
clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in
a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down,
I called the fire department.
"We
don't do that anymore," the woman
dispatcher said. When I persisted, she
was polite but firm. "The cat will come
down when it gets
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 30 Ianuarie 2007
I went to the cinema the other day and
in the front row was an old man and with
him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind
of film, you know the type. In the sad
part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in
the funny part, the dog laughed its head
off. This happened all the way through
the film. After the film had ended, I
decided to go and speak to the man:
- That's the most amazing thing I've
seen,
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Noiembrie 2011
A clergyman, walking down a country
lane, saw a young farmer struggling to
load hay back onto a cart after it had
fallen off.
- You look tired, my
son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest
a moment, and I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My
father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be
silly, the minister said. Everyone is
entitled to a break. Come and have a
drink of water.
Again
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 3 Mai 2007
All the scientists die and go to heaven.
They decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who
has the den. He is supposed to count up
to 100 and then start searching.
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter
and stands in it right in front of
Einstein. Einstein's counting:
1,2,3..97,98,99,100.
He opens his
eyes and finds Newton standing in
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Septembrie 2005
About five years ago, the battery in my
beat-up VW Beetle had died because I
left the lights on overnight. I was in a
hurry to get to work on time, so I ran
into the house to get my wife to give me
a hand in starting the car.
I
told her to get into our second car, a
prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and
use it to push my car fast enough to
start it. I pointed out to her that
because the VW
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Ianuarie 2008
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful
daughters but always talked about having
a son. They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
The
wife got pregnant and delivered a
healthy baby boy. The joyful father
rushed to the nursery to see his new
son. He was horrified at the ugliest
child he had ever seen.
He told his
wife:
'There's no way I can be the
father of this baby.
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 3 Iunie 2008
Friends of women:
A wife was
not at home for a whole night. So she
tells her husband, the very next
morning, that she stayed at her
girlfriend's apartment over night.
So the husband calls 10 of her best
girlfriends and none of them confirm
that.
Friends of men:
A husband was not at home for a
whole night. So he tells his wife the
very next morning, that he stayed at his
friend's
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 28 Septembrie 2004
1. Project Manager is a person who
thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
one month.
2. Developer is a person
who thinks it will take 18 months to
deliver a baby.
3. Onsite
Coordinator is one who thinks a single
woman can deliver nine babies in one
month.
4. Client is the one who
doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who
thinks he can deliver a baby even if
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Aprilie 2005
Due to increasing products liability
litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the
FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on
all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may make you think you are
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 7 Martie 2005
My girlfriend called me as she was
driving to an appointment. She arrived,
and I could tell from her voice that she
was getting frustrated. Finally she
said:
- I know I had my cell phone
with me. And
now I can't find it!
I replied:
- Aren't you talking
on it!?
There was a solid period of
stunned silence as the reality of the
situation sank in - followed by:
-
You are NOT going to tell
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Februarie 2008