Bula at the exam: Teacher: - Bula, I hope that this time I won't catch you cheating again! Bula: - I hope so too.
propus: 18 Aug 2011
Bula at the exam:
Teacher:
-
Bula, I hope that this time I won't
catch you cheating again!
Bula:
- I hope so too.
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
pray?"
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's
utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004
An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom
that she has missed her period for two
months. Very worried, the mother goes to
the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is
pregnant.
Shouting, crying, the
mother says, "Who did this to you? I
want to know!"
The girl picks up the
phone and makes a call. Half an hour
later a Ferrari stops in front of their
house; a mature
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
I am rejecting your rejection
Dear Sir / Madam
Thank you for
your letter of 4 September 2003. After
careful consideration I regret to inform
you that I am unable to accept your
refusal to offer me employment with your
company. This year I have been
particularly fortunate in receiving an
unusually large number of rejection
letters. With such a varied and
promising field of candidates it is
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 8 Martie 2005
A boy who was a witness to a crime was
called to testify in court. He was
approached by the defense attorney who
asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say
in court?"
"Yes, sir," answered the
boy.
"I thought so," said the
attorney. "Who was it?"
"My father,
sir."
"And what did he tell you?"
the attorney asked accusingly.
"He
said that the lawyers would try to get
me all tangled up, but if I
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Noiembrie 2006
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over
his dining room, so he called a
repairman to take a look at it. "When
did you first notice the leak?" the
repairman inquired.
Mr. Gable
scowled. "Last night, when it took me
two hours to finish my soup!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Octombrie 2006
A hamster and a rat were sitting on the
side of a swimming pool. They were
enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat
turned to the hamster and asked him:
Dude,
How come people
consider me a noisance, and you a pet?
How come people pay money to have
you, while they are trying to kill me?
How come you are considered a cute
little animal, while I am considered
creepy and disgusting?
How come you
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Septembrie 2004
Due to increasing products liability
litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the
FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on
all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may make you think you are
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 7 Martie 2005
When the new patient was settled
comfortably on the couch, the
psychiatrist began his therapy session.
"I'm not aware of your problem," the
doctor said. "So perhaps, you should
start at the very beginning."
"Of
course," replied the patient. "In the
beginning, I created the heavens and the
earth..."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Iulie 2007
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan
meets him, shows him doors to three
rooms, and says he must choose one spend
eternity in.
In the first room,
people are standing in shit up to their
necks. The guy says "no, let me see the
next room."
In the second room,
people are standing with shit up to
their noses. Guy says no again.
Finally, Satan opens the door to the
third room. People are standing
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
Stephen Spielberg is casting for a new
film based around the great composers.
Anyway to give the film a twist and some
"oomph" he decides to cast the parts to
the great action heroes of today. He
calls Stallone, Arnie, Bruce Willis and
Seagal into his office to hear who they
would like to play.
- Well, started
Stallone, I've always admired Mozart. I
would love to play him.
- Chopin has
always
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Noiembrie 2005
A Sunday school teacher was telling her
class the story of the Good Samaritan,
in which a man was beaten, robbed, and
left for dead. She described the
situation in vivid detail so her
students would catch the drama. Then she
asked the class, "If you saw a person
lying on the roadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"
A
thoughtful little girl broke the hushed
silence, "I think I'd
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Mai 2007
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow
of silence: he is allowed to say two
words every seven years.
After the
first seven years, the elders bring him
in and ask for his two words. "Cold
floors," he says. They nod and send him
away.
Seven more years pass. They
bring him back in and ask for his two
words. He clears his throats and says,
"Bad food." They nod and send him away.
Seven more years
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
A mother and a daughter are shopping in
the mall, when the mother eyes an
expensive fur coat.
"This year," she
says, "I think that I will buy my
present instead of making you and Dad
shop for me." The daughter nods in
agreement. "And I think this fur coat
would be perfect too."
The daughter
protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor
creature has to suffer so that you can
have this."
"Don't worry,
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Februarie 2008
A husband, the owner of a new car, was
somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to
drive his prize possession, even to the
grocery store, which was a few blocks
from the house.
After she insisted,
he finally relented, cautioning her as
she departed, "Remember, if you have an
accident, the newspaper will print your
age."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 25 Septembrie 2008