Robert went to his lawyer and said: - I would like to make a will, but I don't know exactly how to go about it. The lawyer...
propus: 8 Iun 2011
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day. - In English, he said, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Romanian, a double negative is still a [...]
- I would like to make a will, but I
don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and
- Not a problem, leave it
all to me.
Robert looked somewhat
upset and said:
- Well, I knew you
were going to take a big portion, but I
would like to leave a little to my
banc precedent Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse [...]
Two engineering students were walking
across campus when one said:
did you get such a great bike?
second engineer replied:
- Well, I
was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when a beautiful woman rode
up on this bike. She threw the bike to
the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take what you want."
second engineer nodded approvingly:
- Good choice; the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and
you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
Have you heard of the Air Force's
ultra-high-security, super-secret base
in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?
Well, late one afternoon, the
Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very
surprised to see a Cessna landing at
their "secret" base. They immediately
impounded the aircraft and hauled the
pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took
off from Las Vegas, got lost, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Decembrie 2007
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
Caller: I heard what
sounded like gunshots coming from the
brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and
slacks, why? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
Bill and Diane were in a terrible
accident and Diane's face was
told Bill that they couldn't graft
any skin from her body because she was
So Bill offered to
donate some of his own skin. However,
the only skin on his body that the
doctor felt was suitable would have to
come from his buttocks.
husband and wife agreed that they would ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the
buds on my father's young peach tree for
two years in a row. This spring, Dad was
ready. He replanted the sapling in a
large box, mounted it on wheels, and put
the tree in the garage whenever the
One warm April
day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into
the yard, and he stopped to give our dog
a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 14 Iunie 2007
Statement: Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the
- We have
silver in our hair.
- We have gold
in our teeth.
- We have stones in
- We have lead in our
- We are loaded with
natural gas ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 26 Februarie 2008
During a taxi, the crew of a US Air
departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made
a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with
a United 727. The irate ground
controller (a female) lashed out at the
US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771,
where are you going? I told you to turn
right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned
right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I
know it's difficult to tell the
difference between a C ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
News from Apple
announced today that is has developed a
computer chip that can store and play
music in women's breast implants.
The iBoob will cost between $499 and
This is considered to be
a major breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.
Thank to Apple, everyone is now
happy. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Noiembrie 2007
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes
That’s not right = Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitive =
Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP = Kum
4) Stupid Man = Dum Fuk
Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni
you go to the beach = Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped the coffee table = Ai
Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you
need a face lift = Chin Tu Fat
It’s Very dark in here = Wai So Dim
10) ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
A property manager of an apartment
complex was showing a unit to
prospective tenants and asking the usual
employed?" he asked.
military family," the wife answered.
"Oh, yes, ages nine
and twelve," she answered proudly.
"Oh, no," she said
earnestly. "They're very well behaved." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Aprilie 2008
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's
utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004
A man is walking along a cliff and all
of a sudden loses his balance, slips,
and falls off. Fortunately, he has the
presence of mind to grab on to the edge,
and he's hanging there for dear life. He
hangs and hangs an finally yells out:
"Is there anybody up there who can help
There's no answer.
calling and calling. "Is there anybody
up there who can help me?".
this big ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007