TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his...
propus de: Claudia pe data: 1 Mai 2009
A young lady visited the government
matchmaker for marriage and requested:
"I'm looking for a spouse. Can you
please help me to find a suitable one?"
The marriage officer said: "Your
"Well, let me
see. Needs to be good looking, polite,
humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at
singing and dancing.
accompany me the whole day at home
during my leisure hour, if I ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 August 2007
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest.
came to visit Bubba and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 8 Martie 2007
A couple had only been married for two
weeks and the husband, although very
much in love, couldn't wait to go out on
the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife,
"Honey, I'll be right back."
are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty
Face," he answered. I'm going to have a
The wife said, "You want a
beer, my love?" She ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 August 2007
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. Being a typical
lawyer, he thinks he is smarter than the
Cop so he decides to have some fun at
the Cop's expense.
License and registration, please.
- What for?
- You didn't come to a
complete stop at the stop sign.
- I slowed down,
and no one was coming.
- Exactly! License ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 22 Noiembrie 2005
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were
waiting one morning for a particularly
slow group of golfers. The engineer
- What's with these guys?
We must have been waiting for 15
The doctor chimed in:
I don't know, but I've never
seen such ineptitude!
- Hey, here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with
him.... Hi George! Say, what's ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
"I just don't understand it", an Irish
footballer complained... "One match I
play very well, and then the next match
"Well", said his
wife, "why don't you just play every
other match?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Aprilie 2008
There were these three nuns that were
killed in a traffic accident, and
immediately sent to the Pearly Gates.
As St. Peter was looking over their
files, he said, "You ladies have been
very good, but before I can let you in,
you have to answer a question." So he
asks the first nun,
- "What was the
name of the first man that God created?"
- "Adam," she replied. The lights
started flashing, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Iunie 2006
In order to assure the highest level of
quality work and productivity from
employees it will be our policy to keep
all employees well trained through our
program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY
TRAINING (S.H.I.T) ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Iulie 2007
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks
into a pharmacy and wanders up & down
The sales girl notices
him and asks him if she can help him. He
answers that he is looking for a box of
tampons for his wife. She directs him
down the correct aisle.
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of
cotton balls and a ball of string on the
She says, confused, 'Sir, I
thought you were ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010
In a class on abnormal psychology, the
instructor was about to introduce the
subject of manic depression.
instructor asked, "How would you
diagnose a patient who walks back and
forth, screaming at the top of his lungs
one minute, then sits in a chair weeping
uncontrollably the next?"
man in the rear raised his hand and
suggested earnestly, "A basketball
coach?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Decembrie 2006
Hearing so many people speaking about
his intelligence level, George "double
you" Bush decided to get his brain
The physician diagnosis was
- Mr. President, you
have two brains, the left and the right,
like all normal people. But the problem
is that in your left brain there is
nothing right and in your right brain
there is nothing left. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Mai 2005
A man happens
upon a friend and sees that his friend's
car is wrecked and covered with leaves,
grass, branches, dirt, and blood. He
asks his friend, "What happened to your
"Well," the friend
responses, "I ran into a lawyer."
"OK," says the man, "that explains
the blood... But what about the leaves,
the grass, the branches, and the dirt?"
"Well, I had to chase ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 26 Septembrie 2006
One night while I was cat-sitting my
daughter's indoor feline, it escaped
outside. When it failed to return the
following morning, I found the beast
clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in
a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down,
I called the fire department.
don't do that anymore," the woman
dispatcher said. When I persisted, she
was polite but firm. "The cat will come
down when it gets ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 30 Ianuarie 2007