Many hymnals have a hymn called Gladly the Cross I'd Bear. It seems that one week when the church secretary was typing the...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus de: Carp pe data: 16 Oct 2008
Many hymnals have a hymn called Gladly the Cross I'd Bear.  It seems that one week when the church secretary was typing the...

Many hymnals have a hymn called "Gladly the Cross I'd Bear."

It seems that one week when the church secretary was typing the Sunday
bulletin, she asked the pastor which hymn would come just before the
sermon. He replied with the above-mentioned hymn.

The following Sunday the bulletin read:

Hymn No. 134: "Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear."

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have [...]
banc precedent
Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening [...]
banc urmator

A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. So she immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned to a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed even more amused. When, on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Iulie 2007


What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005


After school one day, a young first-grade boy was sitting at the kitchen table, eating his afternoon snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school."
The boy's mother replied, "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are an only child?"
She just said, "Thank ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Martie 2008


FINAL EXAM

The blonde reports for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and! No, for Tails. Within half an hour she is all ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004


A Chinese couple got married. When a baby girl was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown. Finally, the father named the baby SUM TING RONG." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006


Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Wire telegraph is a kind of a very, ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005


A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he is allowed to say two words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away.
Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away.
Seven more years ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006


What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant.
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 1 Martie 2005


A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that most Germans would speak English. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train.
He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I simply nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested.
When ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Octombrie 2006


Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work for a chat.
"I'm sorry dear," said Bill, "but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat."
Sally replied, "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you, dear."
"OK, darling," said Bill, "but as I've got no time right now, just give me the good news."
"OK," agreed Sally. "Well, the air bag works!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 August 2008


You Know You Have a Bad Computer When...
10. The lower corner of screen has the words "Etch A Sketch" on it.
9. When you insert a disk, it spits out a pack of cigarettes.
8. You have to pedal it.
7. The manual contains one sentence: "Good luck!"
6. The only chip inside came from a bag of Doritos.
5. When you turn it on, the dogs in the neighborhood start howling.
4. You catch a virus from ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007


Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around?"
The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it; I'm an airplane!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Iulie 2008


Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front". ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007


A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but he eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew left was the one on the front row.

So as not to make a fool ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 21 Februarie 2007


Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then, in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.
He says into the microphone, in a deep solemn voice...
"Just for a moment, think outside yourself... Outside this arena... Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A loud Irish voice from near the front pierces the moment...
"Well, ya ****** ****, ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Octombrie 2006