Have you heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as Area 51? Well, late one...
propus: 10 Dec 2007
Have you heard of the Air Force's
ultra-high-security, super-secret base
in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?
Well, late one afternoon, the
Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very
surprised to see a Cessna landing at
their "secret" base. They immediately
impounded the aircraft and hauled the
pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took
off from Las Vegas, got lost, and
spotted the base just as he was about to
run out of fuel. The Air Force started a
full FBI background check on the pilot
and held him overnight during the
investigation.
By the next day,
they were finally convinced that the
pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy.
They gassed up his airplane, gave him a
terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base"
briefing, complete with threats of
spending the rest of his life in prison,
told him Las Vegas was that-a-way on
such-and-such a heading, and sent him on
his way.
The next day, to the
total disbelief of the Air Force, the
same Cessna showed up again. Once again,
the MPs surrounded the plane -- only
this time there were two people in the
plane.
The same pilot jumped
out and said, "Do anything you want to
me, but my wife is in the plane and you
have to tell her where I was last
night!"
A truck driver had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, the truck broke down. After waiting by the side of the road for about [...]
banc precedent About five years ago, the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time, so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a [...]
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for
several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to
concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 30 Mai 2010
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. He thinks he is
smarter than the Cop so he decides to
have some fun at the Cop's expense.
Cop says:
- License and registration, please.
Lawyer says:
- What for?
Cop says:
- You didn't come to a complete stop at
the stop sign.
Lawyer says:
- I slowed down, and no one was coming.
Cop says:
- Exactly! License and registration,
please.
Lawyer
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 22 Noiembrie 2005
The man told his doctor that he wasn't
able to do all the things around the
house that he used to do. When the
examination was complete, he said:
- Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in
plain English what is wrong with me.
- Well, in plain English, the doctor
replied, you're just lazy.
- Okay, said the man. Now give me the
medical term so I can tell my wife.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
Friends of women:
A wife was not at home for a whole
night. So she tells her husband, the
very next morning, that she stayed at
her girlfriend's apartment over
night. So the husband calls 10 of her
best girlfriends and none of them
confirm that.
Friends of men:
A husband was not at home for a whole
night. So he tells his wife the very
next morning, that he stayed at his
friend's
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 28 Septembrie 2004
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and
ordered a couple of drinks. They then
take sandwiches from their briefcases
and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican
approaches them and says, 'Excuse me,
but you cannot eat your own sandwiches
in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and
exchange sandwiches.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert,
moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic
cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale,
he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the
kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice
anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over.. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the
bathroom, undressed and walked back into
the kitchen
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 27 Ianuarie 2009
After buying her kids a pet hamster,
after they PROMISED they would take care
of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the
responsibility.
One evening, exasperated, she asked
them, "How many times do you think that
hamster would have died if I hadn't
looked after it?"
After a moment, her youngest son replied
quizzically, "Once?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 August 2007
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk
about his dreams.
"Every night," the man said, "I dream
that these three hideous monsters are
sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to
attack me."
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel sure I
can cure you of this problem. But the
treatment will cost you somewhere
between twenty-five and thirty thousand
dollars."
"Thirty thousand dollars!" the man
gasped. "Never mind
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 9 Martie 2007
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an
old lady near a park bench sobbing her
eyes out. I stopped and asked her what
was wrong.
She said: "I have a 22 year old husband
at home. He makes love to me every
morning and then gets up and makes me
pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and
freshly ground coffee."
I said: "Well, then why are you crying?"
She said: "He makes me homemade soup for
lunch and my
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Februarie 2005
A man is walking along a cliff and all
of a sudden loses his balance, slips,
and falls off. Fortunately, he has the
presence of mind to grab on to the edge,
and he's hanging there for dear life. He
hangs and hangs an finally yells out:
"Is there anybody up there who can help
me?"
There's no answer.
He keeps calling and calling. "Is there
anybody up there who can help me?".
Finally this big
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007
A Czech goes to the optician who shows
him a card with the letters 'C Z W X
N Q S T A C Z'.
"Can you read this?" the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Czech replies, "I even
know the guy."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking
the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign
says you're open 24 hours." He goes:
"Not in a row!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
Comentariu banc: Victor - 31 Ian 2017