On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the...
propus: 10 Iul 2007
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
is it?" A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included 20 Admirals from the US, English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a reception, he found himself standing with a huge [...]
The tower responded, "Who is
The aircraft replied,
"What difference does it make?"
tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American
Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it
is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand
is on the 12 and the little hand is on
the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft,
it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes
to 'Happy Hour.'"
banc precedent On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up! From under the covers came mumbles, I [...]
You are driving along in your car on a
wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting
for the bus:
1. An old lady who
looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you
have been dreaming about.
would you choose to offer a ride to,
knowing that there could only be one
passenger in your car. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and
ordered a couple of drinks. They then
take sandwiches from their briefcases
and began to eat.
Seeing this, the
angry publican approaches them and says,
'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own
sandwiches in here!'
The two look at
each other, shrug and exchange
sandwiches. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
A husband read an article to
his wife about how many words women use
a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to
The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, 'What?' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010
A ragged individual stranded for several
months on a small desert island in the
middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a
bottle lying in the sand with a piece of
paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he
pulled out the cork and with shaking
hands withdrew the message.
lack of maintenance," he read, "we
regretfully have found it necessary to
cancel your e-mail account." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Mai 2007
Have you heard of the Air Force's
ultra-high-security, super-secret base
in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?
Well, late one afternoon, the
Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very
surprised to see a Cessna landing at
their "secret" base. They immediately
impounded the aircraft and hauled the
pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took
off from Las Vegas, got lost, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Decembrie 2007
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE
Put about 100 bricks in
some particular order in a closed room
with an open window. Then send 2 or 3
candidates in the room and close the
door. Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyses the
If they are counting
the bricks. Put them in the accounts
If they are
recounting them. Put them in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
Who's your best friend? Just try this
experiment... Put your dog and your wife
in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really
happy to see you? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 12 Martie 2008
Three engineering students were gathered
together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
said, "It was a mechanical engineer."
Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical
The last one said,
"Actually it must have been a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
01. While working with Mr. Ionescu, I
have always found him
studiously and sincerely at his table
03. gossiping with
colleagues in the office. He seldom
04. wastes his time on useless
things. Given a job, he always
finishes the given assignment in time.
He is always
06. deeply engrossed in
his official work, and can never be
07. found chitchatting in the
canteen. He ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his
students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class
"A woman, without her man,
females in the class wrote:
woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
If you love something, set it free. If
it comes back, itwill always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never
yours to begin with. But, if it just
sits in your living room, messes up your
stuff, eats your food, uses your
telephone, takes your money, and doesn't
appear to realize that you had set it
free... You either married it or gave
birth to it ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 August 2007
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an
old lady near a park bench sobbing her
eyes out. I stopped and asked her what
She said: "I have a 22
year old husband at home. He makes love
to me every morning and then gets up and
makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit
and freshly ground coffee."
"Well, then why are you crying?"
said: "He makes me homemade soup for
lunch and my ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Februarie 2005
Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking
can kill you.
The next day I stopped
Twelve days ago, I
read that too much red meat can kill
The next day I stopped eating
Eight days ago, I
read that drinking can kill you. The
next day I stopped drinking.
Yesterday, I read that having sex
can kill you.
This morning I stopped
reading. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 25 Aprilie 2005