First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet School were receiving theirfirst anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 2 Mai 2007

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet School were receiving theirfirst anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them:
- In vet medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: the first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.
For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck hisfinger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck hisfinger in his mouth:
- Go ahead and do the same thing, he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them:
- The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed, and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would [...]
banc precedent
A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. - You look tired, my son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest a [...]
banc urmator

I am not sure exactly how this works,
but this is amazingly accurate.  <br>The
picture below has two identical dolphins
in it. It was used in a case study on
stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and
later ...I am not sure exactly how this works, but this is amazingly accurate.
The picture below has two identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and later at Fletcher Medical Center in Burlington.
Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008


People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes.
People who do less work... make less mistakes.
People who do no work... make no mistakes.
People who make no mistakes... gets promoted.
That's why I spend most of my time sending e-mails & playing games at work... I need a promotion. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Ianuarie 2005


THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: "Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Ianuarie 2006


Success is just like being pregnant.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you tried! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 24 Iulie 2009


Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004


Who's your best friend? Just try this experiment... Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you? ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 12 Martie 2008


Subject on a math test... <br>Solve the
problem: find x on the triangle.
<br>Answer: see for yourself!!Subject on a math test...
Solve the problem: find x on the triangle.
Answer: see for yourself!! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 3 Octombrie 2005


What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant.
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 1 Martie 2005


A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Cop. Being a typical lawyer, he thinks he is smarter than the Cop so he decides to have some fun at the Cop's expense.
Cop says:
- License and registration, please.
Lawyer says:
- What for?
Cop says:
- You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.
Lawyer says:
- I slowed down, and no one was coming.
Cop says:
- Exactly! License ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 22 Noiembrie 2005


A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. She told her new husband, "Please be gentle with me, as for me it's the first time."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be."
"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 August 2006


Five Jews changed the way you see the world...
- Moses: The Law is everything.
- Jesus: Love is everything.
- Marx: Money is everything.
- Freud: Sex is everything.
- Einstein: Everything is relative. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Februarie 2005


Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 8 Martie 2005


Man: God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a million of years?
God: A second.
Man: And a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005


A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children...
- You all have obsessions, he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said:
- You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.
He turned to the second Mom, Ann:
- Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.
He turns to the third ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 Ianuarie 2007


1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 11 Noiembrie 2004