A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. Mr. Brewster, the judge said, you are hereby found guilty...
propus: 5 Mar 2007
A pickpocket was appearing in court for
a series of petty crimes. "Mr.
Brewster," the judge said, "you are
hereby found guilty and fined the sum of
$150." Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master: No Madam, [...]
After consulting with his
client, Mr. Brewster's lawyer stood up
and said, "Your Honor, my client is a
little short at this time. He has only
$125 in his pocket, but if you would
allow him a few minutes in the crowd..."
banc precedent Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic, and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating red meat [...]
I was having trouble with my computer.
So I called Harold, the computer guy, to
come over. Harold clicked a couple of
buttons and solved the problem. He gave
me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called
after him, "So, what was wrong?"
replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but
I nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T
Error? What's that, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Iunie 2007
There is more money being spent on
breast implants and Viagra today than on
Alzheimer's research. This means that by
2040, there should be a large elderly
population with perky boobs and huge
erections and absolutely no recollection
of what to do with them. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 23 Februarie 2007
Late one night, a man walks into a
dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist.
You need a psychiatrist."
Dentist: "So why did you
come in here?"
Man: "Well, the light
was on." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 9 Mai 2007
Tom Thumb, Sleeping Beauty, and
Quasimodo were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said:
believe myself to be the most beautiful
girl in the world.
Tom Thumb said:
- I must be the smallest person in
absolutely have to be the ugliest person
in the world.
They decided to
go to the Guinness Book of World Records
to have their claims verified.
Sleeping ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 15 Martie 2005
A man walks into a bar and he's really
pissed. The bartender gives him a drink
and asks what the problem is. All he
- All lawyers are assholes.
A man sitting in the corner shouts:
- I take offense to that!
pissed off guy asks him:
- Why? Are
you a lawyer?
The other replies:
- No, I'm an asshole. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 30 Iunie 2006
One Sunday morning, everyone in a
bright, beautiful, tiny town got up
early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the
townspeople were sitting in their pews
and talking about their lives, their
appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running
for the front entrance, trampling each
other in a frantic effort to get ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Aprilie 2007
Year 1981 =========
Charles got married
crowned Champions of Europe
Year 2005 =========
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned
Champions of Europe (again)
*** In Future,
Charles wants to re-marry
Liverpool needs another crown. .... POOR
POPE....!! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 23 August 2005
A couple was going out for the evening.
They'd gotten ready, all dolled up,
dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and
as the couple start out, the dog shoots
back in the house. They don't want
the dog shut in the house,so the wife
goes out to the taxi while the husband
goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that
the house will be empty explains to the
taxi ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
On a sunny morning, William's mother
came into her son's room and said,
"William, it's Sunday. Time to get up!
Time to get up and go to church! Get
From under the covers came
mumbles, "I don't want to go!"
do you mean?" she said. "That's silly!
Now get up and get dressed and go to
"No!" he shot back. "I'll
give you two reasons. I don't like them
and they don't like ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sambata, 14 Iulie 2007
A wife asked her husband: "What do you
like most in me, my pretty face or my
He looked at her from
head to toes and replied after a pause:
"I like your sense of humor!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Ianuarie 2005
A hamster and a rat were sitting on the
side of a swimming pool. They were
enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat
turned to the hamster and asked him:
How come people
consider me a noisance, and you a pet?
How come people pay money to have
you, while they are trying to kill me?
How come you are considered a cute
little animal, while I am considered
creepy and disgusting?
How come you ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Septembrie 2004
01. While working with Mr. Ionescu, I
have always found him
studiously and sincerely at his table
03. gossiping with
colleagues in the office. He seldom
04. wastes his time on useless
things. Given a job, he always
finishes the given assignment in time.
He is always
06. deeply engrossed in
his official work, and can never be
07. found chitchatting in the
canteen. He ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
I am rejecting your rejection
Dear Sir / Madam
Thank you for
your letter of 4 September 2003. After
careful consideration I regret to inform
you that I am unable to accept your
refusal to offer me employment with your
company. This year I have been
particularly fortunate in receiving an
unusually large number of rejection
letters. With such a varied and
promising field of candidates it is ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 8 Martie 2005