In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression. The instructor asked,...
propus: 4 Dec 2006
Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking
can kill you.
The next day I stopped
Twelve days ago, I
read that too much red meat can kill
The next day I stopped eating
Eight days ago, I
read that drinking can kill you. The
next day I stopped drinking.
Yesterday, I read that having sex
can kill you.
This morning I stopped
reading. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 25 Aprilie 2005
Due to increasing products liability
litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the
FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on
all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may make you think you are ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 7 Martie 2005
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
"Q. What is an Economic
"A. It is money
that the federal government will send to
"Q. Where will the
government get this money?
"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own
"A. No, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Ianuarie 2009
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
THINGS THAT ARE VERY
DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
THINGS THAT ARE
DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
Nope, no more booze for me!
Sorry, but ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Mai 2008
A father was trying to teach his young
son the evils of alcohol.
put one worm in a glass of water and
another worm in a glass of
The worm in the water lived, while the
one in the whiskey
curled up and
"All right, son," asked
the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if
you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 August 2008
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes
That’s not right = Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitive =
Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP = Kum
4) Stupid Man = Dum Fuk
Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni
you go to the beach = Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped the coffee table = Ai
Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you
need a face lift = Chin Tu Fat
It’s Very dark in here = Wai So Dim
10) ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her
class that in Spanish, unlike English,
nouns are designated as either masculine
"House" for instance,
is feminine: "la casa."
however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
student asked, "What gender is
Instead of giving the
answer, the teacher split the class into
two groups, male and female, and asked
them to decide for ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 5 Iunie 2007
Headlines from the year 2029:
Ozone created by electric cars now
killing millions in the seventh largest
country in the world, Mexifornia,
formerly known as California. White
minorities still trying to have English
recognized as Mexifornia's third
Spotted Owl plague
threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock.
conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Martie 2006
How to avoid the flu
Make sure you get your daily dose of
fruits and veggies.
vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because
exercise helps build your immune system.
Walk for at least hour a day, go for
a swim, take the stairs instead of the
Wash your hands
often. If you can't wash them, keep
a bottle of antibacterial stuff ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Ianuarie 2005
Heaven is where the police are British,
the chefs Italian, the mechanics German,
the lovers French and it is all
organized by the Swiss.
where police are German, the chefs
British, the mechanics French, the
lovers Swiss and it is all organized by
the Italians. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 29 Noiembrie 2005
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow
of silence: he is allowed to say two
words every seven years.
first seven years, the elders bring him
in and ask for his two words. "Cold
floors," he says. They nod and send him
Seven more years pass. They
bring him back in and ask for his two
words. He clears his throats and says,
"Bad food." They nod and send him away.
Seven more years ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
A man is waiting in line for a hit
movie. Behind him are two women. The
usher comes along and says that he has
two seats together. Seeing the problem,
the usher says to the man, "Let them go
first. You wouldn't want to separate a
woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that
once, and I've been sorry ever since." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 1 Aprilie 2008