All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the...
propus: 28 Nov 2006
During a taxi, the crew of a US Air
departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made
a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with
a United 727. The irate ground
controller (a female) lashed out at the
US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771,
where are you going? I told you to turn
right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned
right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I
know it's difficult to tell the
difference between a C ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
I went to the cinema the other day and
in the front row was an old man and with
him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind
of film, you know the type. In the sad
part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in
the funny part, the dog laughed its head
off. This happened all the way through
the film. After the film had ended, I
decided to go and speak to the man:
- That's the most amazing thing I've
seen, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Noiembrie 2011
Jack Benny is walking down the street,
when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and
says: Your money or your life!
extremely long silence follows. Your
money or your life!, the thug repeats.
Finally Benny says: I am thinking! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006
A property manager of an apartment
complex was showing a unit to
prospective tenants and asking the usual
employed?" he asked.
military family," the wife answered.
"Oh, yes, ages nine
and twelve," she answered proudly.
"Oh, no," she said
earnestly. "They're very well behaved." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Aprilie 2008
1. There's always a lot to be
thankful for if you take time to look
for it. For example, I am sitting here
thinking how nice it is that wrinkles
2. The easiest
way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.
3. You don't stop laughing
because you grow old. You grow old
because you stop laughing.
penny saved is a government ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 30 Mai 2005
A boy who was a witness to a crime was
called to testify in court. He was
approached by the defense attorney who
asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say
"Yes, sir," answered the
"I thought so," said the
attorney. "Who was it?"
"And what did he tell you?"
the attorney asked accusingly.
said that the lawyers would try to get
me all tangled up, but if I ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Noiembrie 2006
Two engineering students were walking
across campus when one said:
did you get such a great bike?
second engineer replied:
- Well, I
was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when a beautiful woman rode
up on this bike. She threw the bike to
the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take what you want."
second engineer nodded approvingly:
- Good choice; the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
A simple friend, when visiting, acts
like a guest.
A real friend opens
your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen
A real friend has shoulders
soggy from your tears.
friend doesn't know your
friend has their phone numbers in his
A simple friend
brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Mai 2005
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg
aplicatiile si programele.
19. "It's never
done that before."
18. "It worked
17. "How is that
16. "It must be a
15. "What did you
type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in
13. "I haven't touched
that module in weeks!"
12. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
Once upon a time there were two
One brother was very
mischievous, always getting into
The other brother,
however, was very good. He was always
kind to animals, helped elderly
neighbors, and led an exemplary life.
As time went on, the brothers
stayed in touch but were never close.
The evil brother became a heavy
drinker and a womanizer.
other brother was a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 6 Aprilie 2006
One night while I was cat-sitting my
daughter's indoor feline, it escaped
outside. When it failed to return the
following morning, I found the beast
clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in
a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down,
I called the fire department.
don't do that anymore," the woman
dispatcher said. When I persisted, she
was polite but firm. "The cat will come
down when it gets ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 30 Ianuarie 2007
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE
Put about 100 bricks in
some particular order in a closed room
with an open window. Then send 2 or 3
candidates in the room and close the
door. Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyses the
If they are counting
the bricks. Put them in the accounts
If they are
recounting them. Put them in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006