A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 2 Nov 2006

A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.

"That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?"

"Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat!"

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm [...]
banc precedent
A boy who was a witness to a crime was called to testify in court. He was approached by the defense attorney who asked, Did anyone tell you what to say in court? Yes, sir, answered the boy. [...]
banc urmator

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004


I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. Jimi Celeste ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Mai 2012


A newlywed farmer and his wife were
visited by her mother, who immediately
demanded an inspection of the place.
While they were walking through the
barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared
up and ...A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 19 Decembrie 2008


Ten Things men know for sure about women.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. Women have breasts. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 August 2007


A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Iunie 2005


A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house,so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004


FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages me back and begs to do ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 23 August 2005


First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet School were receiving theirfirst anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them:
- In vet medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: the first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Mai 2007


Many hymnals have a hymn called 'Gladly
the Cross I'd Bear.' <br> <br>It seems
that one week when the church secretary
was typing the Sunday <br>bulletin, she
asked the pastor which hymn would come
just ...Many hymnals have a hymn called "Gladly the Cross I'd Bear."

It seems that one week when the church secretary was typing the Sunday
bulletin, she asked the pastor which hymn would come just before the
sermon. He replied with the above-mentioned hymn.

The following Sunday the bulletin read:

Hymn No. 134: "Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 16 Octombrie 2008


An engineer dies and reports to Heaven. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer, you're in the wrong place."
So the engineer reports to Hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Aprilie 2007


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Mai 2009


3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story

This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004


- 25th Wedding Anniversary -
At the banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
- Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?
Tom responded:
- Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 21 Iunie 2007


A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed:
- What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
The doctor chimed in:
- I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!
The pastor said:
- Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.... Hi George! Say, what's ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005


If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same time, who would reach the ground first?
The woman, the man would get lost. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sambata, 4 Iunie 2011