Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the...
propus: 29 Nov 2005
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say,
MILLIE: All right... 'I am
the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
A newlywed farmer and his wife were
visited by her mother, who immediately
demanded an inspection of the place.
While they were walking through the
barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared
up and kicked the mother-in-law in the
head, killing her instantly.
the funeral service a few days later,
the farmer stood near the casket and
greeted folks as they walked by. The
pastor noticed that ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 19 Decembrie 2008
After school one day, a young
first-grade boy was sitting at the
kitchen table, eating his afternoon
snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the
teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be
coming to school."
The boy's mother
replied, "That's nice of her to take
such an interest, dear. What did she say
when you told her you are an only
She just said, "Thank ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Martie 2008
About five years ago, the battery in my
beat-up VW Beetle had died because I
left the lights on overnight. I was in a
hurry to get to work on time, so I ran
into the house to get my wife to give me
a hand in starting the car.
told her to get into our second car, a
prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and
use it to push my car fast enough to
start it. I pointed out to her that
because the VW ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Ianuarie 2008
I went to the cinema the other day and
in the front row was an old man and with
him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind
of film, you know the type. In the sad
part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in
the funny part, the dog laughed its head
off. This happened all the way through
the film. After the film had ended, I
decided to go and speak to the man:
- That's the most amazing thing I've
seen, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Noiembrie 2011
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S
I know I'm not going to
understand how you can take boiling hot
wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip
the hair out by the root, and still be
afraid of a spider. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Mai 2010
01. While working with Mr. Ionescu, I
have always found him
studiously and sincerely at his table
03. gossiping with
colleagues in the office. He seldom
04. wastes his time on useless
things. Given a job, he always
finishes the given assignment in time.
He is always
06. deeply engrossed in
his official work, and can never be
07. found chitchatting in the
canteen. He ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking
the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign
says you're open 24 hours." He goes:
"Not in a row!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
Who's your best friend? Just try this
experiment... Put your dog and your wife
in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really
happy to see you? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 12 Martie 2008
All the scientists die and go to heaven.
They decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who
has the den. He is supposed to count up
to 100 and then start searching.
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter
and stands in it right in front of
Einstein. Einstein's counting:
He opens his
eyes and finds Newton standing in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Septembrie 2005
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus
1. He called everyone
2. He liked Gospel.
He couldn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good
arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a
virgin and his mother was sure he was
But then there
were 3 ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 20 Octombrie 2005
One spelling mistake can destroy your
A husband wrote a message to
his wife on his business trip and forgot
add 'e' at the end of a word...
"I am having such a wonderful time!
I wish you were her..." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Aprilie 2011
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. Being a typical
lawyer, he thinks he is smarter than the
Cop so he decides to have some fun at
the Cop's expense.
License and registration, please.
- What for?
- You didn't come to a
complete stop at the stop sign.
- I slowed down,
and no one was coming.
- Exactly! License ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 22 Noiembrie 2005