Sweetheart: I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart. Your...
propus: 13 Sep 2005
Sweetheart:
I can't send my
salary this month, so I am sending 100
kisses. You are my sweetheart.
Your husband,
Allen
...
His wife replied back after some
days to her husband:
Dearest
sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100
kisses, I am sending the expenses
details:
1. The Milk man agreed on 2
kisses for one month's milk.
2. The
electricity man only agreed after 7
kisses.
3. Your house owner is
coming every day and taking two or three
kisses instead of the rent.
4.
Supermarket owner did not accept kisses
only, so I have given him some other
items...
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me; I have a
remaining balance of 35 kisses and I
hope I can complete the month using this
balance.
Shall I plan same way for
next months, please advice!!!
Your Sweet Heart
An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his
students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class
wrote:
"A woman, without her man,
is nothing."
All the
females in the class wrote:
"A
woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
Five Jews changed the way you see the
world...
- Moses: The Law is
everything.
- Jesus: Love is
everything.
- Marx: Money is
everything.
- Freud: Sex is
everything.
- Einstein: Everything
is relative.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Februarie 2005
I recall a time when my son was about 18
months old. I had him strapped into a
backpack and was rushing to catch the
bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell
down an entire flight of stairs (13 to
be exact). I was bruised and bleeding
and had torn my jeans ... but my main
concern was, naturally, for my child.
My fears were alleviated,
though, when from behind me I heard a
gleeful giggle followed
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. He thinks he is
smarter than the Cop so he decides to
have some fun at the Cop's expense.
Cop says:
- License and
registration, please.
Lawyer says:
- What for?
Cop says:
- You
didn't come to a complete stop at the
stop sign.
Lawyer says:
- I
slowed down, and no one was coming.
Cop says:
- Exactly! License and
registration,
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 22 Noiembrie 2005
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the
river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his
clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan
asked "Why"?
A: The animals told
him. Your tail is in front".
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
pray?"
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's
utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004
You are driving along in your car on a
wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting
for the bus:
1. An old lady who
looks as if she is about to die.
2.
An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you
have been dreaming about.
Which one
would you choose to offer a ride to,
knowing that there could only be one
passenger in your car.
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005
A Polish man moved to the USA and
married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got
along very well until one day he rushed
into a lawyer's office and asked him if
he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a
divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the
following questions:
- Have you any
grounds?
- Yes, an acre and half and
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 16 Ianuarie 2007
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk
about his dreams.
"Every night," the
man said, "I dream that these three
hideous monsters are sitting on the edge
of my bed, ready to attack me."
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel
sure I can cure you of this problem. But
the treatment will cost you somewhere
between twenty-five and thirty thousand
dollars."
"Thirty thousand dollars!"
the man gasped. "Never
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 9 Martie 2007
A ragged individual stranded for several
months on a small desert island in the
middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a
bottle lying in the sand with a piece of
paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he
pulled out the cork and with shaking
hands withdrew the message.
"Due to
lack of maintenance," he read, "we
regretfully have found it necessary to
cancel your e-mail account."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Mai 2007
One night while I was cat-sitting my
daughter's indoor feline, it escaped
outside. When it failed to return the
following morning, I found the beast
clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in
a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down,
I called the fire department.
"We
don't do that anymore," the woman
dispatcher said. When I persisted, she
was polite but firm. "The cat will come
down when it gets
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 30 Ianuarie 2007
A man drinks a shot of whisky every
night before bed. After years of this,
his wife wants him to quit; she gets two
shot glasses, filling one with water and
the other with whisky.
After getting
him to the table that has the glasses,
she brings his bait box. She says, "I
want you to see this." She puts a worm
in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whisky, and
the worm dies
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 8 Decembrie 2006
Three kids come down to the kitchen and
sit around the breakfast table. The
mother asks the oldest boy what he would
like to eat.
- I would have some
****** French toast, he says.
The
mother is outraged at his language and
sends him upstairs.
She asks the
middle child what he wants.
- Well,
I guess that leaves more ******* French
toast for me, he says.
She is livid
and sends him away.
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006