A Czech goes to the optician who shows him a card with the letters 'C Z W X N Q S T A C Z'. Can you read this? the optician...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 31 Aug 2004

A Czech goes to the optician who shows him a card with the letters 'C Z W X N Q S T A C Z'.
"Can you read this?" the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Czech replies, "I even know the guy."

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student: - What are your parents' names? The student replied: - My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling. [...]
banc precedent
3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically. A teacher was reading the story of [...]
banc urmator

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010


A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. She told her new husband, "Please be gentle with me, as for me it's the first time."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be."
"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 August 2006


In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression.
The instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and suggested earnestly, "A basketball coach?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Decembrie 2006


A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that most Germans would speak English. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train.
He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I simply nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested.
When ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Octombrie 2006


Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes
1) That’s not right = Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitive = Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP = Kum Hia
4) Stupid Man = Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach = Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped the coffee table = Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift = Chin Tu Fat
9) It’s Very dark in here = Wai So Dim
10) ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006


A blonde woman goes into a department store and tells the salesman she wants a pair of pink curtains. He assures her they have a good selection of pink curtains. He shows her many kinds and different fabrics of curtains she finally picks out a pink floral pattern.
The salesman asks, "What size do you need?"
She says, "15 inch."
He exclaims, "15 INCHES! What room are they for?"
She says, "It's ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Noiembrie 2005


Statement: Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the younger generations:
- We have silver in our hair.
- We have gold in our teeth.
- We have stones in our kidneys.
- We have lead in our feet and.
- We are loaded with natural gas ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 26 Februarie 2008


All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews, and the minister, responded with ripples of laughter. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride had given him back his credit card. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006


The best short story on Religion,
Sexuality and Mystery.The best short story on Religion, Sexuality and Mystery. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 13 Octombrie 2006


Q: How can you tell an extroverted mathematician?
A: He stares at YOUR shoes while talking to you. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Aprilie 2008


News from Heaven: Due to the current
financial crisis facing the world at the
moment, the light at the end of the
tunnel will be switched off to save on
electricity costs, until further ...News from Heaven: Due to the current financial crisis facing the world at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off to save on electricity costs, until further notice.

Sincerely yours,
God ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Noiembrie 2008


Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front". ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007


A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner.

The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone.

The woman went on to tell us how upset she was ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Octombrie 2006


Error messages:
1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
3. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
4. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
5. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
6. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN"
7. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007