1. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it...
propus: 30 Mai 2005
1. There's always a lot to be thankful
for if you take time to look for it. For
example, I am sitting here thinking how
nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner [...]
2. The easiest way to find
something lost around the house is to
buy a replacement.
3. You don't
stop laughing because you grow old. You
grow old because you stop laughing.
4. A penny saved is a government
5. The older you
get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
because by then your body and your fat
are really good friends.
When I'm feeling down, I like to
whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog
that barks all the time run to the end
of his chain and gag himself.
7. He who hesitates is probably
8. If you can smile when
things go wrong, you have someone in
mind to blame.
9. The purpose
of a child's middle name is so he can
tell when he's really in trouble.
10. How long a minute is depends on
what side of the bathroom door you're
11. If ignorance is bliss,
why aren't a lot more people happy?
12. Most of us go to our graves with
our music still inside us.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every
day, how come nothing is free yet?
14. You may be only one person in
the world, but you may also be the world
to one person.
mistakes are too much fun to make only
16. Don't cry because
it's over: smile because it happened.
17. We could learn a lot from
crayons: some are sharp, some are
pretty, some are dull, some have weird
names, and all are different colors. But
they all have to learn to live in the
18. Everything should
be made as simple as possible, but no
19. A truly happy
person is one who can enjoy the scenery
on a detour.
sometimes comes through doors you didn't
even know you left open.
Once over the hill, you pick up speed.
22. I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
23. If not for STRESS, some
days I'd have no energy at all.
24. Whatever hits the fan will not
be evenly distributed.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some
just don't have film.
know God won't give me more than I can
handle. I just wish He didn't trust me
27. If you can't be
kind, at least be vague.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
29. We cannot change the direction
of the wind, but we can adjust our
30. If the shoe fits,
buy it in every color.
an awesome day, and know that someone
thought about you today!
banc precedent A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As [...]
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the
buds on my father's young peach tree for
two years in a row. This spring, Dad was
ready. He replanted the sapling in a
large box, mounted it on wheels, and put
the tree in the garage whenever the
One warm April
day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into
the yard, and he stopped to give our dog
a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 14 Iunie 2007
- Cash, check or
charge? I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase.
fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a
remote control for a television set in
- So, do you always carry
your TV remote? I asked.
- No, she
replied, but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, and I figured this was
the most evil thing I could do to him
legally. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 7 Mai 2010
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006
I am not sure exactly how this works,
but this is amazingly accurate.
picture below has two identical dolphins
in it. It was used in a case study on
stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and
later at Fletcher Medical Center in
Look at both dolphins
jumping out of the water. The dolphins
are identical. A closely monitored,
scientific study revealed that, in spite
of the fact that ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
A blonde at the grocery store:
would like 4 tomatoes, 4 potatoes and 4
- I can help you with the
tomatoes and the potatoes, but not with
- Ok... than I'll
have 2 tomatoes, 2 potatoes and 2
- I see you don't understand
me: I have tomatoes, I have potatoes,
but I have no onions.
- I see...
then I'll have a tomato, a potato and an
- Ok, let's do this ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sambata, 14 Iulie 2007
On a sunny morning, William's mother
came into her son's room and said,
"William, it's Sunday. Time to get up!
Time to get up and go to church! Get
From under the covers came
mumbles, "I don't want to go!"
do you mean?" she said. "That's silly!
Now get up and get dressed and go to
"No!" he shot back. "I'll
give you two reasons. I don't like them
and they don't like ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sambata, 14 Iulie 2007
TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you
know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the
axe in his hand. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Mai 2009
Have you heard of the Air Force's
ultra-high-security, super-secret base
in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?
Well, late one afternoon, the
Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very
surprised to see a Cessna landing at
their "secret" base. They immediately
impounded the aircraft and hauled the
pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took
off from Las Vegas, got lost, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Decembrie 2007
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus
1. He called everyone
2. He liked Gospel.
He couldn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good
arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a
virgin and his mother was sure he was
But then there
were 3 ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 20 Octombrie 2005
How to avoid the flu
Make sure you get your daily dose of
fruits and veggies.
vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because
exercise helps build your immune system.
Walk for at least hour a day, go for
a swim, take the stairs instead of the
Wash your hands
often. If you can't wash them, keep
a bottle of antibacterial stuff ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Ianuarie 2005
Friends of women:
A wife was
not at home for a whole night. So she
tells her husband, the very next
morning, that she stayed at her
girlfriend's apartment over night.
So the husband calls 10 of her best
girlfriends and none of them confirm
Friends of men:
A husband was not at home for a
whole night. So he tells his wife the
very next morning, that he stayed at his
friend's ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Septembrie 2004
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
"Q. What is an Economic
"A. It is money
that the federal government will send to
"Q. Where will the
government get this money?
"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own
"A. No, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Ianuarie 2009