An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The...
propus: 31 Mar 2005
Two engineering students were walking
across campus when one said:
did you get such a great bike?
second engineer replied:
- Well, I
was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when a beautiful woman rode
up on this bike. She threw the bike to
the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take what you want."
second engineer nodded approvingly:
- Good choice; the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful
daughters but always talked about having
a son. They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
wife got pregnant and delivered a
healthy baby boy. The joyful father
rushed to the nursery to see his new
son. He was horrified at the ugliest
child he had ever seen.
He told his
'There's no way I can be the
father of this baby. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 3 Iunie 2008
During a taxi, the crew of a US Air
departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made
a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with
a United 727. The irate ground
controller (a female) lashed out at the
US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771,
where are you going? I told you to turn
right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned
right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I
know it's difficult to tell the
difference between a C ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when
he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then, in the silence, he starts to
slowly clap his hands.
He says into
the microphone, in a deep solemn
"Just for a moment, think
outside yourself... Outside this
arena... Every time I clap my hands, a
child in Africa dies."
A loud Irish
voice from near the front pierces the
"Well, ya ****** ****, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Octombrie 2006
An architect, an artist and an engineer
were discussing whether it was better to
spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time
with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with
his mistress, because the passion and
mystery he found there.
said: "I like both. If you have a wife
and a mistress, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
Man: Can I
ask you something?
Man: What is for you a million of
God: A second.
a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005
A school teacher sends this note to all
parents on the first day of school: "If
you promise not to believe everything
your child says happens at school, I'll
promise not to believe everything he
says happens at home." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 27 Ianuarie 2008
An old mafia Don is dying and he calls
his grandson to the bed.
lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my
chrome plated 38 revolver so you will
always remember me.
- But grandpa,
I really don't like guns. Howzabout you
leava me your rolex watch instead?
Shuddup and lissin. Somma day you gonna
runna da business, you gonna have a
beautifulla wife, lotsa money, a biga
home and maybe a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 17 Octombrie 2005
Tom Thumb, Sleeping Beauty, and
Quasimodo were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said:
believe myself to be the most beautiful
girl in the world.
Tom Thumb said:
- I must be the smallest person in
absolutely have to be the ugliest person
in the world.
They decided to
go to the Guinness Book of World Records
to have their claims verified.
Sleeping ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 15 Martie 2005
Lady: Is this my train?
Master: No, it belongs to the Railway
Lady: Don't try to be
funny. I mean to ask if I can take this
train to New Delhi.
No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Februarie 2007
A dog walks into an employment agency
- I'd like to get a job
The guy at the employment
- Wow, you could easily
get a job at the circus, with your
The dog replys:
would the circus want with a plumber? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
I recall a time when my son was about 18
months old. I had him strapped into a
backpack and was rushing to catch the
bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell
down an entire flight of stairs (13 to
be exact). I was bruised and bleeding
and had torn my jeans ... but my main
concern was, naturally, for my child.
My fears were alleviated,
though, when from behind me I heard a
gleeful giggle followed ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office"
- I am
currently out at a job interview and
will reply to you if I fail to get the
position. Be prepared for my mood.
- I'm not really out of the
office. I'm just ignoring you.
- You are receiving this automatic
notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you
wouldn't have received anything at ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A man is walking along a cliff and all
of a sudden loses his balance, slips,
and falls off. Fortunately, he has the
presence of mind to grab on to the edge,
and he's hanging there for dear life. He
hangs and hangs an finally yells out:
"Is there anybody up there who can help
There's no answer.
calling and calling. "Is there anybody
up there who can help me?".
this big ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007