Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough...
propus: 31 Mar 2005
Normal people believe that if it ain't
broke, don't fix it.
Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough features yet.
My girlfriend called me as she was
driving to an appointment. She arrived,
and I could tell from her voice that she
was getting frustrated. Finally she
said:
- I know I had my cell phone
with me. And
now I can't find it!
I replied:
- Aren't you talking
on it!?
There was a solid period of
stunned silence as the reality of the
situation sank in - followed by:
-
You are NOT going to tell
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Februarie 2008
A couple had only been married for two
weeks and the husband, although very
much in love, couldn't wait to go out on
the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife,
"Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where
are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the
wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty
Face," he answered. I'm going to have a
beer."
The wife said, "You want a
beer, my love?" She
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 August 2007
Have you heard of the Air Force's
ultra-high-security, super-secret base
in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?
Well, late one afternoon, the
Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very
surprised to see a Cessna landing at
their "secret" base. They immediately
impounded the aircraft and hauled the
pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took
off from Las Vegas, got lost,
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Decembrie 2007
Three kids come down to the kitchen and
sit around the breakfast table. The
mother asks the oldest boy what he would
like to eat.
- I would have some
****** French toast, he says.
The
mother is outraged at his language and
sends him upstairs.
She asks the
middle child what he wants.
- Well,
I guess that leaves more ******* French
toast for me, he says.
She is livid
and sends him away.
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
A Polish man moved to the USA and
married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got
along very well until one day he rushed
into a lawyer's office and asked him if
he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a
divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the
following questions:
- Have you any
grounds?
- Yes, an acre and half and
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 16 Ianuarie 2007
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I
don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and
replied:
- Not a problem, leave it
all to me.
Robert looked somewhat
upset and said:
- Well, I knew you
were going to take a big portion, but I
would like to leave a little to my
family too!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking
the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign
says you're open 24 hours." He goes:
"Not in a row!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg
aplicatiile si programele.
COUNT DOWN......
20.
"That's weird..."
19. "It's never
done that before."
18. "It worked
yesterday."
17. "How is that
possible?"
16. "It must be a
hardware problem."
15. "What did you
type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in
your data."
13. "I haven't touched
that module in weeks!"
12.
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 28 Noiembrie 2006
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks
into a pharmacy and wanders up & down
the aisles..
The sales girl notices
him and asks him if she can help him. He
answers that he is looking for a box of
tampons for his wife. She directs him
down the correct aisle.
A few
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of
cotton balls and a ball of string on the
counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I
thought you were
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 30 Mai 2010
A real estate agent had just closed his
first deal, only to discover that the
piece of land he had sold was completely
under water.
"That customer's
going to come back here pretty mad," he
said to his boss. "Should I give him his
money back?"
"Money back?"
roared the boss. "What kind of salesman
are you? Get out there and sell him a
houseboat!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Noiembrie 2006
Man: God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I
ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a million of
years?
God: A second.
Man: And
a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005
Some lines:
1. I feel like I'm
diagonally parked in a parallel
universe.
2. On the other hand,
it's better to have fingers than toes.
3. A day without sunshine is
like. .. night!
4. How many of
you believe in psycho-kenisis? Raise my
hand.
5. Everyone has a
photographic memory, but some don't have
any film.
6. When everything is
coming your way. .. you're in the wrong
lane.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 August 2006