A dragon is asking a kid: - What are your parents' names? The kid replied: - My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name...
proposed: 19 Mar 2015
A dragon is asking a kid:
- What are
your parents' names?
The kid
replied:
- My father's name is
Laughing and my mother's name is
Smiling.
The dragon said:
- Are
you kidding?
The kid said:
- No,
Kidding is my brother. I am Joking.
My wife's family and I were at a Harding
University football game. Every time
someone carried the ball or made a
tackle, the announcer would broadcast
who had made the play.
Near the
beginning of the third quarter after the
announcer called a play, my niece,
Madison, looked up at my wife and
innocently asked, "Is that God talking?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 22 November 2006
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
pray?"
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's
utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 1 September 2004
A man drinks a shot of whisky every
night before bed. After years of this,
his wife wants him to quit; she gets two
shot glasses, filling one with water and
the other with whisky.
After getting
him to the table that has the glasses,
she brings his bait box. She says, "I
want you to see this." She puts a worm
in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whisky, and
the worm dies
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 8 December 2006
Lady: Is this my train?
Station
Master: No, it belongs to the Railway
Company.
Lady: Don't try to be
funny. I mean to ask if I can take this
train to New Delhi.
Station Master:
No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 27 February 2007
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
DESIRED
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 21 November 2006
A young husband comes home one night,
and his wife throws her arms around his
neck: "Darling, I have great news:
I'm a month overdue. I think
we're going to have a baby! The
doctor gave me a test today, but until
we find out for sure, we can't tell
anybody."
The next day, a guy
from the electric company rings the
door-bell, because the young couple
hasn't paid their last bill:
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S
PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to
understand women.
I'll never
understand how you can take boiling hot
wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip
the hair out by the root, and still be
afraid of a spider.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 May 2010
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say,
'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am
the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 26 November 2008
A man walks along a lonely beach.
Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!
He looks around; nobody's there. "I
am having hallucinations," he thinks.
Then he hears the voice again: I SAID,
DIG!
So he starts to dig in the sand
with his bare hands, and after a bit, he
finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
The deep voice says: OPEN!
OK,
the man thinks, let's open the thing. He
finds a rock with
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 18 April 2008
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. He thinks he is
smarter than the Cop so he decides to
have some fun at the Cop's expense.
Cop says:
- License and
registration, please.
Lawyer says:
- What for?
Cop says:
- You
didn't come to a complete stop at the
stop sign.
Lawyer says:
- I
slowed down, and no one was coming.
Cop says:
- Exactly! License and
registration,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 22 November 2005
TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you
know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the
axe in his hand.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 1 May 2009
An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his
students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class
wrote:
"A woman, without her man,
is nothing."
All the
females in the class wrote:
"A
woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004
On a sunny morning, William's mother
came into her son's room and said,
"William, it's Sunday. Time to get up!
Time to get up and go to church! Get
up!"
From under the covers came
mumbles, "I don't want to go!"
"What
do you mean?" she said. "That's silly!
Now get up and get dressed and go to
church!"
"No!" he shot back. "I'll
give you two reasons. I don't like them
and they don't like
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Saturday, 14 July 2007
During a taxi, the crew of a US Air
departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made
a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with
a United 727. The irate ground
controller (a female) lashed out at the
US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771,
where are you going? I told you to turn
right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned
right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I
know it's difficult to tell the
difference between a C
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 25 March 2008
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is
calling?"
The aircraft replied,
"What difference does it make?"
The
tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 10 July 2007