A dragon is asking a kid: - What are your parents' names? The kid replied: - My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name...
proposed: 19 Mar 2015
A dragon is asking a kid:
- What are
your parents' names?
The kid
replied:
- My father's name is
Laughing and my mother's name is
Smiling.
The dragon said:
- Are
you kidding?
The kid said:
- No,
Kidding is my brother. I am Joking.
"I just don't understand it", an Irish
footballer complained... "One match I
play very well, and then the next match
I'm terrible".
"Well", said his
wife, "why don't you just play every
other match?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 30 April 2008
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
format:
"Q. What is an Economic
Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money
that the federal government will send to
taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the
government get this money?
"A. From
taxpayers.
"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own
money?
"A. No,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 28 January 2009
THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl:
"Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and
went fishing, hunting and played golf a
lot and drank beer whenever he wanted.
THE END
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 January 2006
A dog walks into an employment agency
and says:
- I'd like to get a job
please.
The guy at the employment
agency says:
- Wow, you could easily
get a job at the circus, with your
talents!
The dog replys:
- What
would the circus want with a plumber?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 19 November 2013
A young lady visited the government
matchmaker for marriage and requested:
"I'm looking for a spouse. Can you
please help me to find a suitable one?"
The marriage officer said: "Your
requirements please."
"Well, let me
see. Needs to be good looking, polite,
humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at
singing and dancing.
Willing to
accompany me the whole day at home
during my leisure hour, if I
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 27 August 2007
Two women came before wise King Solomon,
dragging between them a young man in a
three-piece suit.
"This young lawyer
agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY
daughter," said the other.
And so
they haggled before the king until he
called for silence.
"Bring me my
biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I
shall hew the young attorney in half.
Each of you shall receive a
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 17 October 2006
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
pray?"
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's
utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 1 September 2004
A Polish man moved to the USA and
married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got
along very well until one day he rushed
into a lawyer's office and asked him if
he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a
divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the
following questions:
- Have you any
grounds?
- Yes, an acre and half and
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 16 January 2007
Manning the computer help desk for the
local school district was my first job.
And though I was just an intern, I took
the job very seriously. But not every
caller took me seriously.
- Can I
talk to a real person? a caller asked.
- I am real, I said.
- Oh, I'm
sorry, the caller said. That was rude of
me. What I meant to say was, could I
talk to someone who actually knows
something?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 14 March 2008
A woman in our diet club was lamenting
that she had gained weight. She'd made
her family's favorite cake over the
weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten
half of it at dinner.
The next
day, she said, she kept staring at the
other half, until finally she cut a thin
slice for herself. One slice led to
another, and soon the whole cake was
gone.
The woman went on to tell
us how upset she was
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 2 October 2006
A baby polar bear comes up to his mother
and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a
polar bear," she replies, sending him
out to play.
Several minutes
later, he returns. "Momma, are you
absolutely sure I am a polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go
and play."
Several minutes
later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're
sure I'm 100% polar bear?"
"Yes,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 August 2008
My girlfriend called me as she was
driving to an appointment. She arrived,
and I could tell from her voice that she
was getting frustrated. Finally she
said:
- I know I had my cell phone
with me. And
now I can't find it!
I replied:
- Aren't you talking
on it!?
There was a solid period of
stunned silence as the reality of the
situation sank in - followed by:
-
You are NOT going to tell
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 1 February 2008
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful
daughters but always talked about having
a son. They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
The
wife got pregnant and delivered a
healthy baby boy. The joyful father
rushed to the nursery to see his new
son. He was horrified at the ugliest
child he had ever seen.
He told his
wife:
'There's no way I can be the
father of this baby.
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 3 June 2008