On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student: - What are your parents' names? The student replied: - My father's...

Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

proposed: 19 Mar 2015

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student:
- What are your parents' names?
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling.
The teacher said:
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding is my brother. I am Joking.

Ce ar putea intelege cineva care nu stie engleza atunci cand te aude spunand: I can't believe you. Raspuns: Ai Kent, ba Liviu?
previous joke
A Czech goes to the optician who shows him a card with the letters 'C Z W X N Q S T A C Z'. Can you read this? the optician asks. Read it? the Czech replies, I even know the guy.
next joke

A man drinks a shot of whisky every night before bed. After years of this, his wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whisky.
After getting him to the table that has the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says, "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whisky, and the worm dies ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 8 December 2006


If Adam and Eve were Chinese we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 February 2005


Satan greets Bill Gates:
- Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005


Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you.
The next day I stopped smoking.

Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you.
The next day I stopped eating red meat.

Eight days ago, I read that drinking can kill you. The next day I stopped drinking.

Yesterday, I read that having sex can kill you.
This morning I stopped reading. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 25 April 2005


A dog looks at its owner and thinks: "You feed me, care for me, and love me...you must be a god!"
A cat looks at its owner and thinks: "You feed me, care for me, and love me...I must be a god!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 17 August 2005


News from Heaven: Due to the current
financial crisis facing the world at the
moment, the light at the end of the
tunnel will be switched off to save on
electricity costs, until further ...News from Heaven: Due to the current financial crisis facing the world at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off to save on electricity costs, until further notice.

Sincerely yours,
God ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 21 November 2008


What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant.
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 1 March 2005


Woman = Time * Money <br>Time = Money
<br>Woman = Money * Money <br>Money =
root of all problems <br>Woman =
Problems.Woman = Time * Money
Time = Money
Woman = Money * Money
Money = root of all problems
Woman = Problems. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Saturday, 14 July 2007


An American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak, something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up.
"Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked."
"I'm sorry," the American ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004


A truck driver had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, the truck broke down.

After waiting by the side of the road for about three hours, he waved another truck down and offered the driver $500 to take the penguins to the state zoo for him.

The next day, the first truck driver arrived in town and saw the second truck driver ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 3 December 2007


The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said:
- Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.
- Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, you're just lazy.
- Okay, said the man. Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 June 2011


One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to pack his own lunch for school. His mom agreed. But they couldn't agree on what he should pack, so they both made lists.

This was the mom's list:
One sandwich
One apple
Pretzels
A carton of milk

This was Jake's list:
Candy
Candy
Candy

Jake agreed to compromise. Sure enough, the next morning, Jake was ready for school and he packed his lunch. ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 12 January 2007


Little Logan and his family were having Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated round the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away.
- Logan, wait until we say our prayer, his mother reminded him.
- I don't need to, the little boy replied.
- Of course you do! his mother insisted, We say a prayer before ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 21 November 2006


Once upon a time there were two brothers.

One brother was very mischievous, always getting into trouble.

The other brother, however, was very good. He was always kind to animals, helped elderly neighbors, and led an exemplary life.

As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch but were never close.

The evil brother became a heavy drinker and a womanizer.

The other brother was a ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 6 April 2006


This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.

You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well, my job is done! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 18 January 2007