TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered...

I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. Jimi Celeste ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 18 May 2012

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 1 May 2009

WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010

A school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 27 January 2008

One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to pack his own lunch for school. His mom agreed. But they couldn't agree on what he should pack, so they both made lists. This was the mom's list: One sandwich One apple Pretzels A carton of milk This was Jake's list: Candy Candy Candy Jake agreed to compromise. Sure enough, the next morning, Jake was ready for school and he packed his lunch. His mom came ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 12 January 2007

If Adam and Eve were Chinese we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 February 2005

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010

On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, "William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up!" From under the covers came mumbles, "I don't want to go!" "What do you mean?" she said. "That's silly! Now get up and get dressed and go to church!" "No!" he shot back. "I'll give you two reasons. I don't like them and they don't like ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Saturday, 14 July 2007

Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening storm clouds that were gathering. "Preacher," the organizer said, "I trust you'll see to it that the weather won't turn bad on us." Our pastor shook his head. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm sales, not management!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 29 October 2008

A woman goes into a department store and tells the salesman she wants a pair of pink curtains. He assures her they have a good selection of pink curtains. He shows her many kinds and different fabrics of curtains she finally picks out a pink floral pattern. The salesman asks, "What size do you need?" She says, "15 inch." He exclaims, "15 INCHES! What room are they for?" She says, "It's not for a ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 November 2005

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 7 March 2005

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said: - Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. - Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, you're just lazy. - Okay, said the man. Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 June 2011

A cowboy went to an insurance agency to buy a policy. The agent asked, "Have you ever had an accident?" "Nope," replied the cowboy. "Last summer, a bronc kicked in two of my ribs, and a couple of years ago, a rattlesnake bit me on the ankle." "Wouldn't you call those accidents?" quizzed the puzzled agent. "Naw," the cowboy replied. "They did it on purpose!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 15 November 2006

A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and Dad shop for me." The daughter nods in agreement. "And I think this fur coat would be perfect too." The daughter protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this." "Don't worry, ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 February 2008