My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting...
proposed: 1 Feb 2008
I am passing this on to you because it
definitely worked for me and we all
could use more calm in our lives. By
following the simple advice I heard on a
Dr. Phil show, I have finally found
inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The
way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you've started." So I
looked around my house to see all the
things I started and hadn't
finished, and before
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 30 May 2005
Three kids come down to the kitchen and
sit around the breakfast table. The
mother asks the oldest boy what he would
like to eat.
- I would have some ****** French toast,
he says.
The mother is outraged at his language
and sends him upstairs.
She asks the middle child what he wants.
- Well, I guess that leaves more *******
French toast for me, he says.
She is livid and sends him away. Finally
she
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006
Q: What's the difference between biology
and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or
mom, then it is biology. When the baby
looks like the neighbour, then it is
sociology.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 February 2007
All the scientists die and go to heaven.
They decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who
has the den. He is supposed to count up
to 100 and then start searching.
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter
and stands in it right in front of
Einstein. Einstein's counting:
1,2,3..97,98,99,100.
He opens his eyes and finds Newton
standing in
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 September 2005
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and
ordered a couple of drinks. They then
take sandwiches from their briefcases
and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican
approaches them and says, 'Excuse me,
but you cannot eat your own sandwiches
in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and
exchange sandwiches.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like
gunshots coming from the brown house on
the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and
slacks, why?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 April 2007
A Czech goes to the optician who shows
him a card with the letters 'C Z W X
N Q S T A C Z'.
"Can you read this?" the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Czech replies, "I even
know the guy."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004
The graduate with a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree
asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree
asks, "How much will it cost?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom
that she has missed her period for two
months. Very worried, the mother goes to
the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is
pregnant.
Shouting, crying, the mother says, "Who
did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a
call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops
in front of their house; a mature
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
A boy who was a witness to a crime was
called to testify in court. He was
approached by the defense attorney who
asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say
in court?"
"Yes, sir," answered the boy.
"I thought so," said the attorney. "Who
was it?"
"My father, sir."
"And what did he tell you?" the attorney
asked accusingly.
"He said that the lawyers would try to
get me all tangled up, but if I told the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 13 November 2006
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. He thinks he is
smarter than the Cop so he decides to
have some fun at the Cop's expense.
Cop says:
- License and registration, please.
Lawyer says:
- What for?
Cop says:
- You didn't come to a complete stop at
the stop sign.
Lawyer says:
- I slowed down, and no one was coming.
Cop says:
- Exactly! License and registration,
please.
Lawyer
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 22 November 2005
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert,
moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic
cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale,
he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the
kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice
anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over.. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the
bathroom, undressed and walked back into
the kitchen
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 27 January 2009