On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the...

Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

proposed: 10 Jul 2007

On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to 'Happy Hour.'"

A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. So she immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned to a grin, so she moved [...]
previous joke On a sunny morning, William's mother came into her son's room and said, William, it's Sunday. Time to get up! Time to get up and go to church! Get up! From under the covers came mumbles, I [...]
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About five years ago, the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time, so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand in starting the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 18 January 2008


A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: - Have you any grounds? - Yes, an acre and half and nice ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 16 January 2007


If Adam and Eve were Chinese we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 February 2005


- 25th Wedding Anniversary - At the banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. - Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife? Tom responded: - Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 21 June 2007


A school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 27 January 2008


Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He goes: "Not in a row!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006


I am not sure exactly how this works, but this is amazingly accurate. The picture below has two identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and later at ...I am not sure exactly how this works, but this is amazingly accurate. The picture below has two identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and later at Fletcher Medical Center in Burlington. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 25 March 2008


A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 June 2005


This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny. - - - - - - - - - - - NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard) SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 21 November 2006


A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and requested: "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?" The marriage officer said: "Your requirements please." "Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 27 August 2007


Hung Chow calls work and says: - Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I no come work. The boss says: - You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to sing for me. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that. Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: - Boss, I do what you say and ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 16 March 2005


A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006


The truth about working in the IT industry: 1. We work weird (night) shifts... 2. They pay you to make the client happy... 3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny... 4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client's dreams... 5. Your friends fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in the same profession as you... 6. When you have to meet the client ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 27 November 2006


Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you. The next day I stopped smoking. Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you. The next day I stopped eating red meat. Eight days ago, I read that drinking can kill you. The next day I stopped drinking. Yesterday, I read that even the air can kill you. This morning I stopped reading. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 25 April 2005


Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"? A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front". ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 February 2007