A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a bottle...
proposed: 23 May 2007
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I
don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied:
- Not a problem, leave it all to me.
Robert looked somewhat upset and said:
- Well, I knew you were going to take a
big portion, but I would like to leave a
little to my family too!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
A boy who was a witness to a crime was
called to testify in court. He was
approached by the defense attorney who
asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say
in court?"
"Yes, sir," answered the boy.
"I thought so," said the attorney. "Who
was it?"
"My father, sir."
"And what did he tell you?" the attorney
asked accusingly.
"He said that the lawyers would try to
get me all tangled up, but if I told the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 13 November 2006
Gravitation is not responsible for
people falling in love.
I never think of the future. It comes
soon enough.
The only thing that interferes with my
learning is my education.
Education is what remains after one has
forgotten everything he learned in
school.
Two things are infinite: the universe
and human stupidity; and I'm not
sure about the universe.
Wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 12 April 2005
Some lines:
1. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in
a parallel universe.
2. On the other hand, it's better to
have fingers than toes.
3. A day without sunshine is like. ..
night!
4. How many of you believe in
psycho-kenisis? Raise my hand.
5. Everyone has a photographic memory,
but some don't have any film.
6. When everything is coming your way.
.. you're in the wrong lane.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 17 August 2006
A mother and a daughter are shopping in
the mall, when the mother eyes an
expensive fur coat.
"This year," she says, "I think that I
will buy my present instead of making
you and Dad shop for me." The daughter
nods in agreement. "And I think this fur
coat would be perfect too."
The daughter protests, "But Mom, some
helpless, poor creature has to suffer so
that you can have this."
"Don't worry,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 February 2008
Two mothers are having a conversation
about their children one day.
- How do you get your Marvin up so early
on school mornings? asks Joan.
- Oh, that's easy, replies Marianne. I
just throw the cat on his bed.
- Why does that wake him up?
- He sleeps with the dog!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 March 2008
The phone rang. It was a salesman from a
mortgage refinance company. "Do you have
a second mortgage on your home?"
"No," I replied.
"Would you like to consolidate all your
debts?"
"I really don't have any," I said.
"How about freeing up cash for home
improvements?" he tried.
"I don't need any. I just recently had
some done and paid cash," I parried.
There was a brief silence, and then he
asked,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 2 February 2007
A man is waiting in line for a hit
movie. Behind him are two women. The
usher comes along and says that he has
two seats together. Seeing the problem,
the usher says to the man, "Let them go
first. You wouldn't want to separate a
woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that once,
and I've been sorry ever since."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 1 April 2008
FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be
annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages me back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 23 August 2005
After buying her kids a pet hamster,
after they PROMISED they would take care
of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the
responsibility.
One evening, exasperated, she asked
them, "How many times do you think that
hamster would have died if I hadn't
looked after it?"
After a moment, her youngest son replied
quizzically, "Once?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 22 August 2007
The Programmer's drinking song:
99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
101 little bugs in the code.
101 little bugs in the code,
101 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
103 little bugs in the code.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 October 2006
The truth about working in the IT
industry:
1. We work weird (night) shifts...
2. They pay you to make the client
happy...
3. The client pays a lot of money, but
your employer keeps almost every
penny...
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the
client's dreams...
5. Your friends fall apart and you end
up hanging out with people in the same
profession as you...
6. When you have to meet the client
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 27 November 2006