A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. -...
proposed: 3 May 2007
A clergyman, walking down a country
lane, saw a young farmer struggling to
load hay back onto a cart after it had
fallen off.
- You look tired, my
son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest
a moment, and I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My
father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be
silly, the minister said. Everyone is
entitled to a break. Come and have a
drink of water.
Again the young man
protested that his father would be
upset. Losing his patience just a
little, the clergyman said:
- Your
father must be a real slave driver. Tell
me where I can find him and I'll give
him a piece of my mind!
- Well,
replied the young farmer, you can tell
him whatever you like just as soon as I
get this hay off him.
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet School were receiving theirfirst anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. [...]
previous joke Students at a school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish. One 11-year-old wrote, When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night, it was full of oil and all the sardines [...]
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Q: What's the difference between biology
and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or
mom, then it is biology. When the baby
looks like the neighbour, then it is
sociology.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 February 2007
A property manager of an apartment
complex was showing a unit to
prospective tenants and asking the usual
questions.
"Professionally employed?" he asked.
"We're a military family," the wife
answered.
"Children?"
"Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she
answered proudly.
"Animals?"
"Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're
very well behaved."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 23 April 2008
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met
her at the gates and said:
- You have been a good cat all these
years. Anything you want is yours for
the asking.
The cat thought for a minute and then
said:
- All my life I lived on a farm and
slept on hard wooden floors. I would
like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.
God said:
- Say no more.
Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy
pillow.
A few days later,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 30 March 2005
Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work
for a chat.
"I'm sorry dear," said Bill, "but I'm up
to my neck in work today. I don't have
time to chat."
Sally replied, "But I've got some good
news and some bad news for you, dear."
"OK, darling," said Bill, "but as I've
got no time right now, just give me the
good news."
"OK," agreed Sally. "Well, the air bag
works!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 August 2008
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an
old lady near a park bench sobbing her
eyes out. I stopped and asked her what
was wrong.
She said: "I have a 22 year old husband
at home. He makes love to me every
morning and then gets up and makes me
pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and
freshly ground coffee."
I said: "Well, then why are you crying?"
She said: "He makes me homemade soup for
lunch and my
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 February 2005
A Sunday school teacher was telling her
class the story of the Good Samaritan,
in which a man was beaten, robbed, and
left for dead. She described the
situation in vivid detail so her
students would catch the drama. Then she
asked the class, "If you saw a person
lying on the roadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the
hushed silence, "I think I'd
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 2 May 2007
Two mothers are having a conversation
about their children one day.
- How do you get your Marvin up so early
on school mornings? asks Joan.
- Oh, that's easy, replies Marianne. I
just throw the cat on his bed.
- Why does that wake him up?
- He sleeps with the dog!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 March 2008
A clergyman, walking down a country
lane, saw a young farmer struggling to
load hay back onto a cart after it had
fallen off.
- You look tired, my son, said the
cleric. Why don't you rest a moment, and
I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My
father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be silly, the minister said.
Everyone is entitled to a break. Come
and have a drink of water.
Again the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 3 May 2007
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow
of silence: he is allowed to say two
words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders
bring him in and ask for his two words.
"Cold floors," he says. They nod and
send him away.
Seven more years pass. They bring him
back in and ask for his two words. He
clears his throats and says, "Bad food."
They nod and send him away.
Seven more years
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006
1. There's always a lot to be
thankful for if you take time to look
for it. For example, I am sitting here
thinking how nice it is that wrinkles
don't hurt.
2. The easiest way to find something
lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.
3. You don't stop laughing because
you grow old. You grow old because you
stop laughing.
4. A penny saved is a government
oversight.
5. The
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 30 May 2005
A husband, the owner of a new car, was
somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to
drive his prize possession, even to the
grocery store, which was a few blocks
from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented,
cautioning her as she departed,
"Remember, if you have an accident, the
newspaper will print your age."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 25 September 2008
A truck driver had to deliver five
hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he
was driving his truck through the
desert, the truck broke down.
After waiting by the side of the road
for about three hours, he waved another
truck down and offered the driver $500
to take the penguins to the state zoo
for him.
The next day, the first truck driver
arrived in town and saw the second truck
driver crossing
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 3 December 2007