Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg aplicatiile si programele. COUNT DOWN...... 20. That's weird... 19. It's never...
proposed: 28 Nov 2006
A simple friend, when visiting, acts
like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator
and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from
your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your
parents'
first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in
his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine
to your party.
A real friend comes
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 May 2005
A dog walks into an employment agency
and says:
- I'd like to get a job please.
The guy at the employment agency says:
- Wow, you could easily get a job at the
circus, with your talents!
The dog replys:
- What would the circus want with a
plumber?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 19 November 2013
A Sunday school teacher was telling her
class the story of the Good Samaritan,
in which a man was beaten, robbed, and
left for dead. She described the
situation in vivid detail so her
students would catch the drama. Then she
asked the class, "If you saw a person
lying on the roadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the
hushed silence, "I think I'd
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 2 May 2007
On some air bases, the Air Force is on
one side of the field and civilian
aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the
middle. One day the tower received a
call from an aircraft asking, "What time
is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference
does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of
difference. If it is an American
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 10 July 2007
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow
of silence: he is allowed to say two
words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders
bring him in and ask for his two words.
"Cold floors," he says. They nod and
send him away.
Seven more years pass. They bring him
back in and ask for his two words. He
clears his throats and says, "Bad food."
They nod and send him away.
Seven more years
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 September 2006
The truth about working in the IT
industry:
1. We work weird (night) shifts...
2. They pay you to make the client
happy...
3. The client pays a lot of money, but
your employer keeps almost every
penny...
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the
client's dreams...
5. Your friends fall apart and you end
up hanging out with people in the same
profession as you...
6. When you have to meet the client
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 27 November 2006
A man follows a woman out of a movie
theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He
stops her and says, "I'm sorry to
bother you, but I couldn't help but
notice that your dog was really into the
movie. He cried at the right spots, he
moved nervously in his seat at the
boring parts, but most of all, he
laughed like crazy at the funny parts.
Did you find that unusual?"
"Yes," she replied, "I found
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
A husband, the owner of a new car, was
somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to
drive his prize possession, even to the
grocery store, which was a few blocks
from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented,
cautioning her as she departed,
"Remember, if you have an accident, the
newspaper will print your age."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 25 September 2008
The graduate with a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree
asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree
asks, "How much will it cost?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other
possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British
Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
that would become known as
"Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 5 April 2006
Woman's revenge...
- Cash, check or charge? I asked, after
folding items the woman wished to
purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed
a remote control for a television set in
her purse.
- So, do you always carry your TV
remote? I asked.
- No, she replied, but my husband
refused to come shopping with me, and I
figured this was the most evil thing I
could do to him legally.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 7 May 2010