My wife's family and I were at a Harding University football game. Every time someone carried the ball or made a tackle, the...

Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

proposed: 22 Nov 2006

My wife's family and I were at a Harding University football game. Every time someone carried the ball or made a tackle, the announcer would broadcast who had made the play.
Near the beginning of the third quarter after the announcer called a play, my niece, Madison, looked up at my wife and innocently asked, "Is that God talking?"

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny. - - - - - - - - - - - NAME: Kenneth Way [...]
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Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long hair, wearing a white robe, and sandals, holding a staff.

President Bush went up to the man and said, "Aren't you Moses?" The man never answered but just kept staring straight ahead. Again the President said, "Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just kept staring ahead, never ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 5 April 2005


A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 9 June 2005


WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010


TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 26 November 2008


An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, crying, the mother says, "Who did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004


I am not sure exactly how this works,
but this is amazingly accurate.  <br>The
picture below has two identical dolphins
in it. It was used in a case study on
stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and
later ...I am not sure exactly how this works, but this is amazingly accurate.
The picture below has two identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and later at Fletcher Medical Center in Burlington.
Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 25 March 2008


George B.: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condoleeza R.: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George B.: Great. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza R.: Hu is the new leader of China.
George B.: That's what I want to know.
Condoleeza R.: That's what I'm telling you.
George B.: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: I ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 12 September 2006


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 April 2007


The Pope is visiting Washington, D.C., and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac, cruising on the Presidential yacht, the Sequoia. They're admiring the sights when, all of a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto) blows off his head and out into the water.
Secret Service guys start to launch a boat, but President Bush waves them off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take care of this. ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 28 July 2006


Five Jews changed the way you see the world...
- Moses: The Law is everything.
- Jesus: Love is everything.
- Marx: Money is everything.
- Freud: Sex is everything.
- Einstein: Everything is relative. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 14 February 2005


One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to pack his own lunch for school. His mom agreed. But they couldn't agree on what he should pack, so they both made lists.

This was the mom's list:
One sandwich
One apple
Pretzels
A carton of milk

This was Jake's list:
Candy
Candy
Candy

Jake agreed to compromise. Sure enough, the next morning, Jake was ready for school and he packed his lunch. ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 12 January 2007


A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included 20 Admirals from the US, English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.
At a reception, he found himself standing with a huge group of officers that included personnel from most of the countries.
Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks, but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 4 July 2007


If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 October 2006


1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF.

AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you are in ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004


At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 6 October 2006