Some lines: 1. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 2. On the other hand, it's better to have fingers...

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB? Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyses the situation. If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department. If they are recounting them. Put them in auditing. If they ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 March 2006

The Programmer's drinking song: 99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 101 little bugs in the code. 101 little bugs in the code, 101 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 103 little bugs in the code. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 October 2006

A dog looks at its owner and thinks: "You feed me, care for me, and love me...you must be a god!" A cat looks at its owner and thinks: "You feed me, care for me, and love me...I must be a god!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 17 August 2005

A baby polar bear comes up to his mother and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?" "Why, yes, son, of course you are a polar bear," she replies, sending him out to play. Several minutes later, he returns. "Momma, are you absolutely sure I am a polar bear?" "Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go and play." Several minutes later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're sure I'm 100% polar bear?" "Yes, son, ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Jack, who is a smart businessman, talks to his son Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice Son: "I will choose my own bride!" Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter." Son: "Well, in that case..." Next Jack approaches Bill Gates. Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter." Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!" Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 29 September 2005

WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, itwill always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free... You either married it or gave birth to it ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 9 August 2007

Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the Swiss. Hell is where police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and it is all organized by the Italians. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 29 November 2005

A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that most Germans would speak English. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I simply nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested. When he ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 20 October 2006

A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006

A couple is lying in bed. The man says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says: "I'll miss you." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 9 June 2005

News from Heaven: Due to the current financial crisis facing the world at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off to save on electricity costs, until further notice. Sincerely yours, God ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 21 November 2008

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning." "Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the heavens and the earth..." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 19 July 2007

WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010

A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs: - Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him. - Now, now,. ..her mother comforted, I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding. - No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price! - Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her mom. Those turkey rolls are only a ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 12 April 2005